1. Have you ever read The Odyssey and thought “this needs more sequins and a cheerleading routine”? All your epic desires are about to come true.
2. Ever wanted to plunge, false-eyelashes-first, into the world of beauty pageants but were too ashamed to admit it? Plunge away, I’m with you.
3. Ever lain awake at night wondering what would happen if you stuck a socially awkward poet into a competition that’s all about fake tan, high heels and smiles so bright and wide they make a Great White Shark look like he’s been ignoring his dental hygiene? Wonder no longer.
4. Are you a fan of rollicking adventures full of danger and transformation that will ride your imagination hard and put it away wet? Saddle up.
5. Beautiful massacres, a few unexpected revelations and a deep, abiding love of the outsider – come in from the cold and get warm with Poet Vs Pageant.
Poet Vs Pageant is on at 7.45pm, Sun 6.45pm (45mins) at Son Of Loft, Lithuanian Club