1. You could end up on a date with me… Live onstage!

Though never fear, I don’t pluck people out of the audience- you have to sign up to come on stage by filling out a questionnaire before the show. I then get a bunch of answers from willing candidates, who are now only identifiable by their most basic information- like age, height, star sign, wine preference, favourite movie etc. FYI the most common answers are mid 30’s, five foot ten, Gemini, red wine and Shawshank Redemption.

2. If you come on stage to date me, you get free drinks!

A sober first date? No thank you Nelly! My volunteer date gets plied with free booze throughout the show- a great reason to volunteer! And free in that you still have to buy a ticket… And date me in front of a room full of strangers… And basically star in my show for no money… But apart from that, totally, utterly, no strings attached free!

3. Whatever your worst date was, I can top it!

Whilst I was writing this show I went on over 60 dates for… Research purposes. And they ranged from the awful to the truly horrific. And I’ve now performed Onstage Dating 85 times- so you can take some solace in the fact that no matter how terrible that terrible Tinder date was, at least it didn’t happen in front of a room full of strangers who paid to watch.

4. It’s a great show to bring a date to!

The first time I ever performed Onstage Dating was way back in 2016 and the guy who volunteered to date me was at the show on a Tinder date. So his date watched us go on a date on their date. Which is sort of like inception level dating. I also dated someone in Perth who’d only been married for 3 months, whilst his wife watched from the audience. She thought the show was hilarious… Until she really didn’t anymore. I think it was around the time that I commented that I liked his back hair- to which I received an irate heckle from her yelling ‘Yeah, I do too!’

5. You could meet your one true love- who will also be in the audience!

I have an unusually high rate of people meeting each other and forming long term relationships from coming to see Onstage Dating. I’m not sure whether it’s the abundance of love in the room or the subject matter or even some kind of romance/comedy super power that I didn’t even know that I possessed- but several people have met their significant others through coming to my show. So come along and see for yourself- you could get lucky in more ways than one!

Bron Batten performs Onstage Dating at The Butterfly Club

Dates: Mon 25 March until Sun 7 Apr


5 Good Reasons to See Juicy’s Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Play, Right?

1. We’re offering 100% pulp free fresh comedy content. No added sugars or preservatives! That’s right, folks. Our show is also lactose-free, gluten-free, nut-free and vegan!

2. Tickets are cheap, and so the dollar to laugh ratio is proportionally massive. Not sure exactly what this means (we don’t do maths), but just think of the “inverse cost to quality law” and that’ll give you a general idea.

3. If you don’t like audience participation, don’t worry, we hardly pick on people. In fact we like to pretend the audience isn’t there most of the time, because we’re more important and want the focus to be on us. If you do like audience participation and you are keen to get on stage – get your own show.

4. In real life the two of us are known for our constant bickering, so in the world of the show we’ve decided to really push ourselves to play characters who definitely get along 100% of the time and never experience any conflict or fighting of any kind*. You’ll meet a smorgasbord of relatable characters (some of whom may die), including (but not limited to) lifeguards, retail assistants, grammar nazis and Shakespeare.

*this may be a lie

5. The title of our show is a question, so if you don’t come, you risk living the rest of your life, haunted by the unknown, tormented by the unanswered, anguished by the unresolved, bedeviled by the unascertained… you get the point. In telling you to buy a ticket, we’re just looking out for your best interests. We’re very kind and considerate like that.

Juicy (James JG Gordon and Lucy Seale) perform Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Play, Right? at on only 2 nights Apr 13 & 14 so get in quick!


5 Good Reasons to See Dénouement!

1. Dénouement! is a good old-fashioned comedy/mystery play – a sublimely silly and frenetically farcical whodunnit from the makers of the Mystery Radio Theatre live shows and Theatre of the World podcasts.

2. Think of us as a nice change of pace from all the standup comedians in the festival. This is a play. With actors and everything.

3. As well as being a comedy, Dénouement! is also an actual murder mystery. So you are getting two kinds of play for the price of one. Shop around – you can’t beat that value.

4. This is something you can actually take your Mum and Dad to see. But you’ll also enjoy it. How many other things out there can you honestly say that about? Maybe two?

5. Usually when you see people die on stage during a comedy festival show, it’s a bad thing. But it’s very entertaining and funny when it happens during our show. Also we kill the actors for real every night. Not really. Just wanted to see if you’d read this far. Which you obviously have. Good for you. You’re our kind of person.

Dénouement is on from Apr 4 – 7 at LaMama Courthouse Carlton


5 Good Reasons to See Matt Harvey, I Got Bit By a Monkey Once

1- This is a storytelling show, so the events are all true events. Comedy has a habit of exaggerating for comedic purpose, but not this show.

2- Matt suspects he can confidently say this is the only festival show in which someone gets bitten by a monkey.

3- Think of it as being like Eat, Pray, Love but nobody learns anything significant. Spoiler alert: There will be no life changing revelations.

4- This will not be a political show, sick of politics? Great, this is the show for you. Bring all your friends for a show that wont cause a debate at the dinner table afterwards.

5- At the heart of the story is shadenfreude. A dumb protagonist making poor choices which will lead to your entertainment. Come feel better about your choices by listening to Matt poor choices past.

Matt Harvey performs I Got Bit By a Monkey Once at The Tickle Pit Apr 9 – 20


5 good Reasons to see Barnie Duncan, Tap Head

1 – Barnie has been drawing Tap Head the cartoon since last century

2 – Taps are people too

3 – It will probably win all the awards so you want to be one of the people who can say they were there before it broke

4 – There is a great joke about pretzels in it

5 – Barnie’s mum helped him write it

Barnie Duncan Performs Tap Head at ACMI