Five good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty, Saturn Returns and Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988

5 good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty

1. I have it on good authority Bradley Cooper/Scarlett Johannson/Justin Bieber/Chewbacca are coming to the show. I don’t know which night. You’ll have to come lots.

2. I know where you live. If you don’t come, I’ll hang around your house doing impressions of Chewbacca singing Justin Bieber songs.

3. I reveal lots of true stories, stripping away secrets, peeling off guilts. It’s like burlesque of the mouth.

4. There could a be surprise guest on stage with me. When I say “guest,” I mean “moth.”

5. I admit to the worst things I’ve ever done. Apart from stealing that roman artefact. No one knows about that. Oh.

Cal Wilson Is Guilty at the Melb Town Hall – Powder Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/guilty-cal-wilson-is

 

5 Good Reasons to See Lachlan MacLeod and Simon Abrahams in Saturn Returns

One. It’s funny. Which is a good start for the comedy festival. It’s fun for you because we laugh at at our real life traumas. Which is not that much fun for us. For us, every night brings another therapy bill. We’re laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. But for you, it’s funny. No therapy bills. Perhaps a dry cleaning bill.

Two. It’s got music. 12 original songs that poke fun at everything from Uranus to grey pubic hair, Matt Preston to golden Gaytimes. There’s electro synth, piano ballads, ukelele ditties and rollicking dance numbers. There’s even a CD you can buy at the end. And if that’s not enough for you, we wear fancy silver suits. FANCY SILVER SUITS, I SAY.

Three. It’s good. And not just cos we say so. There’s this fancy four star review (http://au.artshub.com/au/news-article/reviews/performing-arts/saturn-returns-190291?sc=1), plus a whole lot of people who saw our sold out 2012 season who will say so. And Tripod – who we recently toured with – they’ll say so too. Won’t you guys? Eh, Tripod? Gatesy? Yon? The other one? Remember us… from the tour, you know… Ummm *sigh*. Plus TheatrePress.com.au said Lachlan was “everyday funny like Hamish and Andy, writes clever and witty lyrics like Tim Minchin, and delivers them with the pathos of Tripod.”. So at least one of us is funny. And the other is a bit funny looking…

Four. It’s deep. Like… yeah. It’s a show with heart. You’ll come out laughing and humming catchy tunes but maybe – just maybe – you’ll even come out having been moved a teensy tiny bit. Unless you’re a heartless bastard, in which case, I totally empathise.

Five. This show is about crisis. It’s poking fun at the traumas of turning 30. We’re really pretty stressed as it is. Have some heart. Even the aforementioned heartless bastards. See our show. We’re already getting old, going grey, going bald and getting fat. Don’t send us broke too.

Saturn Returns is on from  27 March to 6 April at The Butterfly Club.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/saturn-returns-simon-abrahams-lachlan-macleod-in

 

5 Good Reasons to see Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988
1. The show features a ceramic owl.

2. Daniel won a Mr Personality contest aged 5, he has a sash to prove it. Last year he asked questions about what happened on that day in 1988, he regretted this.

3. Martin Riggs is an L.A. cop with suicidal tendencies and Roger Murtaugh is the unlucky police officer with whom Riggs is assigned. Together they uncover a huge drug-smuggling operation, and as their success rate grows so does their friendship. (This will make sense if you see this show)

4. It’s at 8:30 every night (except Sunday 7:30pm), I know that’s the time most good TV shows or movies start but you can record those and watch them later. Come and see this live (please don’t record it). (unless you have a sweet camera and good sound and can give me a copy).

5. There might be some singing and dancing in this show, there might not be……

Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988 is on at the Forum Theatre in the Carpet Room throughout the Festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/mr-personality-1988-daniel-connell

5 Good Reasons to See Dave Thornton, AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP, Bron Batten and her parents

5 good reasons to see DAVE THORNTON – Tall & Pointy 

1.)  No ads. I won’t ask you to skip ads after 5 seconds, how to find singles in your area or ask if you want to advertise your page on Facebook.

2.)  I may or may not be using the phrase ‘Unicorn spaff’ That will be worth the price of admission alone.

3.)  It will make your hair thicker and most lustrous. No wait, that’s salon level shampoo isn’t it?

4.)  I’ll be using a microphone. Have you seen these things? I don’t need to yell and you will all be able to hear without cupping your ear. The 21st century truly is amazing.

5.)  I won’t be using fusion words. You know words like chillax or amazeballs. I don’t want to make a frenemy out of you. Crap, ok I got that one out of system but I’m done now.

Dave Thornton – Tall & Pointy is on at the Banquet Room, Victoria Hotel for the duration of the festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/tall-pointy-dave-thornton

5 Good Reasons To See AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP

1) The following four points will be presented in Japanese Haikus

2) A Warm Spring Morning,
Rice Farmer Begins His Day,
The Sun Warms his Soul.

3) The Coy Pond is Full
The Coy Pond, Splashing with Light,
What Joy the Coy Have.

4) The Young Labourer
Rides to His Workplace, Sunrise.
The Boy Learns Ethic.

5) She Kneels to Master,
He Takes Her By the Warm Hand,
Pride In Her Soul.

AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP is on at the Portland Hotel except for on Mondays when it will be at the Melbourne Town Hall.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/aunty-donna-and-the-fax-machine-shop<

5 Good Reasons to See Bron Batten and her parents in Sweet Child of Mine

1. It features Bron Batten and her parents- live onstage!

2. The Sydney Morning Herald called it ‘Excruciating and hilarious…’ (in a good way)

3. Her Dad tells awesome Dad jokes

4. It won the award for Best Experimental Performance at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe Festival

5. It’s funny and also arty (in a good way)

Sweet Child of Mine is on at 7pm at The Northcote Town Hall, 4th-12th of april

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/sweet-child-of-mine-bron-batten-her-parents

5 Good Reasons to see The Improv Conspiracy’s Our Friend Harold, Dirty Thirties and Here Come The Girls

The Improv Conspiracy will soon return to The Croft Institute for another festival season of hilarious improvised mayhem.  

Here are 5 Good Reasons to check out their new show Our Friend Harold:
                                      
1. It’s 100% improvised, so no two shows will be the same. We have no idea what is going to happen each night until you suggest something, which means we’re always genuinely excited to perform.  Get burnt out or sick of our material halfway through the festival? Not us!

2. Each show is actually TWO shows in one!  The Harold is an improvised format that takes around 30 minutes to perform, so our hour-long show features two Harold teams who each get their chance to make you laugh!
                                                                         
3. We now have five different Harold teams, so you’d have to come to three shows in order to see them all and pick your favourite.  And we really recommend that you DO pick a favourite, and let everyone know… we want our in-house team rivalries to mimic the best feuds in the sporting world!

4. In addition to our large list of veteran cast members, we’ve just added 11 hilarious new performers to the roster. We’ve been training them in a secret comedy laboratory since October! Seriously, we actually have a secret comedy laboratory: http://improvconspiracy.com/workshops 

5. Improvised comedy is underrepresented in the Comedy Festival. The Harold format is underrepresented in the world of Australian improvised comedy. We’re performing Harolds in one of the city’s most difficult-to-find, hidden laneway bars. Come on hipsters, it doesn’t get much more niche than this!  Melbourne at its finest.

For more information, check out http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/our-friend-harold-the-improv-conspiracy and http://www.improvconspiracy.com

 

5 Good Reasons To See Erin Melville and Morven Smith in  Dirty Thirties @ Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2013

1. Are you feeling a little bit dirty? Or are you simply feeling a little bit thirty? Whether you’re in your Dirty Thirties, Naughty Forties or the Nifty Fifties, Morven and Erin’s tales
of the past, the present and perspective on the future really resonate. The ladies, 31 and 35, have led an interesting existence to say the least!

2. If you’re in your twenties this is a show that will give you plenty of belly laughs – at some point you’ll reach your thirties – they did and look at them now! The show is pro-ageing. It’s about embracing the fine lines, nuzzling those metabolic changes and getting ready for the next stage; you can’t go backwards, only forward!

3. All the single ladies, all the single ladies don’t fret. Dirty Thirties will show you a sure-fire way to figure out whether he’s a good egg or a bad egg. Applicable to the single gents as well!

4. Morven treats the audience to a demonstration of her ‘special’ talent, which all audience members can attempt to learn at home, guaranteed to massively improve your life, in many different ways! They’re a generous pair and want to make sure they’re doing their bit to ‘give back’.

5. The girls powered through a great run at the Adelaide Fringe securing great reviews and awesome feedback from the crowds (despite a bumpy start with knobbish venue owners of the Bullshit and Hard to Bear Adelaide pulling the plug on day 1 of Fringe – thanks Ambassadors Hotel Adelaide!). This duo of up and coming Melbourne comediennes have been working hard all around the world and have great show-chemistry. Come to the show, share in the fun and the laughs and feel as though you’re hanging out with a couple of old mates.

Dirty Thirties is on from March 27th – April 7th, 11 shows only. No Mondays. 930pm/830pm Sunday @ Red Violin 231 Bourke Street. 3000.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/dirty-thirties-erin-melville-morven-smith

 

And now: the 5 reasons for Here Come The Girls

1. The sell-out 2012 show returns with a new line up of hilarious ladies from the local Melbourne circuit, interstate and around the world. Host Erin Melville (Otherwise known as Lady Melville) puts together a different
line up every night with a few surprises!

2. Each show features one bloke, the token bloke or as they’re affectionately known, the ‘cock spot’. Just one though. 5 girls, 1 guy – lucky fella!

3. Previous acts have included Shappi Khorsandi, Bev Killick, Urzula Carlson, Jan Maree, Em O’Loughlin, Linda Beatty, Geraldine Quinn and many more. Plus last year we saw Akmal Saleh, Jeff Green, Marcel Lucont, Chris Franklin and Greg Fleet make special appearances. This year will feature some firm favourites as well as a few names that can’t be mentioned…yet!

4. The show will continue it’s support of White Ribbon – Australia’s campaign to stop violence against women. Last year the show contributed part proceeds and sold bands and ribbons, raising almost $1000. A one-off all-proceeds event was held in November 2012 and HCTG raised over $1400 in one night.

5. It’s a fun night out for girls and guys alike, something for everyone. Silly, sassy, surprising comedy… Here Come The Girls!

Red Violin 231 Bourke St, Melbourne 3000. www.tixnofee.com
March 27th – April 21st (No Monday’s) 815pm/715pm Sundays

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/here-come-the-girls

5 Good Reasons to see 2 Ukuleles and a Cello, Kunt and the Gang and KelFi & FiKel

5 Good Reasons to See 2 Ukuleles and a Cello

1. You always wanted to know what heavy metal/electro/rap/other unlikely genre sounds like coming out of a ukulele and cello.

2. You really want to embarrass your mate/lover/archenemy by having a song sung about them by a group of complete strangers.

3. We’re dressing up in dinnerwear especially for you.

4. Two Ukuleles!

5. AND a Cello!

2 Ukes & a Cello are playing Caz Reitops Dirty Secrets for 12 shows from 3/4.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/2-ukuleles-and-a-cello

 

5 Good Reasons to see my Festival Show by Kunt from Kunt and the Gang

1. The songs are funny. They will make you laugh. This is great if you are recently bereaved as it will take your mind off you missing your lost loved one for an hour.

2. The songs are catchy. They will make you go home humming something. This is great if you are an insomniac as it will give you something to do in the middle of the night instead of laying there hating your partner for their contented slumber.

3. The songs are popular. They will make you feel with it. This is great if you’re a bit of a fuddy duddy because you will be dragged up to date as you hear the genuine top 75 UK hits F*cksticks and Use My Arseh*le As A Cunt.

4. The songs are cultural. They will make you better informed. This is great if you are striving to better yourself as you will leave the show with such useful knowledge as in the UK most men wash their helmets before going on a night out.5. The songs are sexy. They will make you get aroused. This is great if you are a lady whose husband doesn’t pay her any attention anymore as you will remember how it feels to feel alive and probably get a moist on for the first time in ages.

Kunt & the Gang are playing Sahara Restaurant & Bar 27/3 – 14/4

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/kunt-and-the-gang

 

5 Good Reasons to see KelFi & FiKel

1. They were listed in SMH’s Top Ten Rising Comedians in 2012

2. They are like Snugglepot & Cuddlepie on acid, and they sing too!

3. They will NEVER put a naked pregnancy photo on facebook

4. They are playing at the coolest venue in town, the Fab (verb) FAD (noun) Gallery in Chinatown

5. In their show, many important ideas are fhighlighted, including but not limited to:

a) A Dugong in a hat
b) A Llama with alpaca
c) Hitler on a Segway

KelFi & FiKel are playing the Fad Gallery 28/3 – 20/4

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/kelfi-fikel

5 Good Reasons to see Cinema Fiasco, Tegan Higginbotham Touched By Fev and Watson – Once Were Planets

5 GOOD REASONS TO COME TO CINEMA FIASCO
1. The movies shown at Cinema Fiasco are very bad but also very wonderful.

2. Everything you need to know about bad movies is explained by two experts in their field.

3. For once you’ll be glad there are people talking in the cinema.

4. You’ll be part of an occasion once lovingly described as “church for weirdos”.

5. Hosts Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod are well-dressed and strangely attractive.

Bookings to see Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod take the mickey out of some outrageously silly films http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/at-cinema-nova-cinema-fiasco

 

5 Reasons to see Tegan Higginbotham Touched By Fev 

1 After a stellar 2012, Tegan will this year be attempting to end the war between Bogans and Nerds by creating Touched By Fev, a show about Harry Potter and Brendan Fevola. If you come to Touched By Fev, you won’t just be seeing a show…you’ll be witnessing history!

2 If Touched By Fev doesn’t go down well, Tegan will have no choice but to start doing shows about more accessible and mainstream subject mater along the lines of  “Tegan Higginbotham in Relationships and Public Transport”. Yuck!

3 Tegan goes to great lengths in order to put together her shows. Last year she took several hits to the head. This year she tracked down one of the AFL’s most notorious players…and had coffee with him. Find out which was more damaging.

4 Tegan doesn’t speak in the third person during her show, unlike when she’s writing “5 reasons to see my show” lists.

5 This show will be as mature & classy as it’s title.

Tigkets to hear Tegan’s childhood love for Fev AND Harry Potter – http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/touched-by-fev-tegan-higginbotham

 

5 Good Reasons to see Watson – Once Were Planets
1 Once Were Planets is going to be Watson’s biggest, most ambitious show to date. Don’t miss this opportunity to see what happens when Tegan foolishly says to Adam “Sure, we’ll do whatever you want…”

2 This isn’t going to just be a another science-fiction nerd show. Once Were Planets is also a Science-Fiction Drama, Science-Fiction Comedy and Science-Fiction Science-Fiction. There’s something for everyone!

3 Not only will Liam Ryan be gracing the Watson stage again (YAY) but he’ll also be joined by award winning puppet company “The Indirect Object” who will attempt to bring Adam and Tegan’s odd imagination to life.

4 Once Were Planets has it’s very own soundtrack which will be performed live each night by the extraordinarily talented Gillian Lever. So if Adam and Tegan go too far off script and lose the audience, you can always just listen to the pretty music.

5 Aliens, space-ships, explosions and NO BURLESQUE whatsoever.

Another way to see Tegan Higginbotham with Adam McKenzie & friends as Watson having fun in space – http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/once-were-planets-watson

5 Good Reasons to See Poet Laureate Telia Nevile’s Live On Air, Patrick Miller – Chaos and Boss Octopus @ MICF 2013

5 Good Reasons to See Poet Laureate Telia Nevile’s Live On Air 
1. If you’re a word nerd, this show will give you so many polysyllabic orgasms your toes will curl

2. If you love the West Wing, Story Corner’s latest instalment of the erotic fan fiction ‘The Best Ring in the West Wing’ will show you a side of Toby and Josh’s relationship you could only dream of (but once you’ve heard it, it’s the only thing you’ll dream of)

3. If the misuse of apostrophes or the use of text-speak in face-to-face conversation makes you want to set people on fire, this show is a good place to meet up with like-minded individuals

4. If you’re an outsider, or know an outsider, or aspire to be an outsider, Poet Laureate Telia Nevile is about to turn the amps up to 11 on behalf of outsiders everywhere – come along and give an almighty rebel yell

5. A beautiful turn of phrase is a joy forever, so a show like this, which is full of beautiful turns of phrase, is a joy forever x 1000 – come and ride the joy train!

Bookings Here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/live-on-air-poet-laureate-telia-nevile

5 Good Reasons to See Patrick Miller – Chaos
1. I do a really sweet entry to the show in a helicopter, smash the roof open with an ice pick, and belay on stage, with no helmet on, which is actually quite dangerous, plus, in the nude, plus, on fire.

2. I eat a lot of fruit, but not during the show. Ok. A little bit during the show.

3. The show is about Chaos Theory, which just happens to be amazing.

4. This is my second solo show. The first one, in the 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Show sold out, and got a four-star review from the Age.

5. The first reason was a lie, and will probably not happen. But is still a good reason.

Bookings Here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/chaos-patrick-miller

5 Good Reasons to See Boss Octopus
1. If you do, we can forget that you were with that slut last week. What’s that? You work with her and it was a staff party? Whatever.

2. Because if you leave us this cute puppy might accidentally get hurt. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

3. You and us have been together since high school. We didn’t even get mad when you told all your friends about the time you fingered us behind the bike rack.

4. Because we’re pregnant. I know this isn’t the best time to tell you, but we were going to tell you before. Honestly.

5. Because we love you. Let’s never fight again. We should have a baby.

Bookings here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/an-evening-of-sketch-boss-octopus