1. PRICE. This is the cheapest we’ll ever be, ever. ($17-20). Either due to imminent success or more likely, inflation.
2. LEARNING. If you’re in your 20s, ever have been, or ever will be, this is the perfect how-to guide. Or rather, the perfect how-not-to guide.
3. ACCESSIBILITY. The material is relatively inoffensive. You can bring your mum, your friend’s mum, or your neighbour’s mum. Just don’t bring our mums, they’re sick of our shit.
4. SAFETY. We’re not gonna spend 10 minutes picking on you if you’re in the front. We’re like spiders, more terrified of you then you are of us.
5. CONTRIBUTING TO DIGGING US OUT OF A HOLE THAT WE, OURSELVES, CREATED. We drunkenly told a bunch of people from our high schools that we’re on an extensive national tour so we need to sell these tickets to visit more than two cities.
Very Mature is on at Crowded In The Vaults from March 24 to March 29