1. I’m a Spanish speaking comedian on a bridging visa. Please come, before some guy in budgie smugglers pushes me off the bridge (into Papua New Guinea).
2. Seriously! I’ve been here for two years! My home country is in trouble. If you don’t come to my show, I’ll have to go on the dole, and you’ll make it so the racists are right.
3. I will make you a better lover, using my special Latino formula: 90% Antonio Banderas, 10% Ricky Martin. (This is not a promise, but if I say it in my accent, you’ll believe me)
4. You will hear a legendary Australian rock song in SALSA. (This is a promise!) Or as I like to call it: “acca daccas with maracas”.
5. You’ll laugh a lot. And if you don’t, I’ll eat my hat. (You don’t want me to do that. It’s a good hat)
Ivan Aristeguieta – Lost in Pronunciation is on at The Portland Hotel in the Pool Room.