Comedy Xmas Shows Are Coming to Town

By Lisa Clark

All around Melbourne the comedy venues are putting together Christmas shows with more laughs than you’ll find in any Christmas Cracker. We put together a list and you can check it twice. These are all the Christmas shows we know about, coming to Melbourne this December, including some exciting live podcast recordings.


The Bella Union Bar is in a Seriously Festive mood and has a lot of Christmas cheer to offer. Comedy wise there are three main offerings.

Sweetest Plum – How the Plum Stole Christmas 
Podcasters Nick Maxwell and Declan Fay will present their usual razor sharp banter**, with a star-studded line-up of celebrity guests***

**   Razor sharp banter is not guaranteed.
*** Star-studded line-up may just be Gatesy, on a stool, with a guitar
Date: 14th December, 2014
Time: 5:00pm
Price: $20/15


After Dinner Mint Christmas Spectacular By The Lords Of Luxury 
The final After Dinner Mint of the year features:
– Master of the dark arts, David Quirk
– Masters of mayhem, Aunty Donna
– Master of sideburns, Hairy Soul Man aka Kai Smythe
Plus many special guests AND a visit from the one and only Santa Claus!

Hosted by The Lords of Luxury with music from Gillian Cosgriff.

Date: Tuesday December 9
Time: 8:30pm.
Price: Presale $12/9  or $15/10 at the door


A Swinging Bella Christmas 

This will be a musical comedy show with MC Casey Bennetto and his co-host being comedy chanteuse Geraldine Quinn with their band the Bella All Stars. On Thursday 18th the special guests will be Alan Brough and Mike McLeish and on Friday the special guests will be Tripod so you can no doubt go to both and are pretty much guaranteed a sensational time.

Thur 18 Dec 2014
Fri 19 Dec 2014

Time: 7:30pm
Price: $35 Full $30 Group $25 Conc



What The Dickens!

Travel back in time to 1851, to Victorian England and the great age of discovery and storytelling. Created from your suggestions, tales of sweet-hearted heroes, sickly orphans, bumbling constables and winsome ladies are woven into a new, unique Dickensian tale every night.

Play parlour games like Poor Pussy, the Laughing Game and join Melbourne’s finest improvisors for mince pies and some Christmas cheer in the wonderful ‘curiosity shoppe’ that is The Butterfly Club.

Wednesday 17 December 2014    6:00pm
Thursday 18 December 2014     7:00pm
Friday 19 December 2014  7:00pm
Saturday 20 December 2014     7:00pm
Sunday 21 December 2014       6:00pm

Price $28/23


The Comedy Gallery @ Jacksons Christmas 
Jacksons – 8 Jackson Street Toorak

With Marty Fields, Nelson Twins, Andrew Brown, Dale Craig and Mayumi Nobetsu

Date: Tue  16 Dec
Price: $25 SHOW ONLY  $50 MEAL & SHOW – contact details for dinner and show bookings – 9827 8244
Time: 8.30


THE GH HOTEL (formally Greyhound Hotel) St Kilda

Joel Creasey’s Office Christmas Party 

Joel Creasey and special guests share their Christmas tales, disasters and songs. Join Australia’s finest comedians and celebrities at Joel’s office Christmas party!

Seating is unallocated- come down early for some pre-show Christmas cheer!

This is an ALL AGES event however anyone under 18 must be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.

Date: Sat 6th December, 2014
Time: 7:00pm (Doors open at 6pm for 7 – 8:30pm show.)
Price: $30 or $33.80 with Booking fee

Bookings through Moshtix


LOCAL LAUGHS presented by Janet A Mcleod 

At The Local Taphouse – 184 Carlisle St StKilda

With Janet’s famous Christmas style, decorations, the inimitable Andrew McClelland as MC and guests who so far include: Matt Elsbury, Rusty Berther, Dilruk Jayasinha and Cal Wilson, it’s sure to be a jolly good wiz bang night.

Date: Mon 22nd Dec
Time: 8.30pm
Price: $15/12



238 Victoria St Melbourne (opposite Queen Vic Market)

The Public Bar Xmas Show

With Steele Saunders, who will be cooking up an all-star mystery line up.

Date: Wed 17 December
Time: 8.30pm
Price: $5



At The Toff in Town, 252 Level 2 Curtain House Swanston St Melbourne.

Have a Christmas celebration with The Shelf. For three Mondays in December, The Shelf team will be rocking the night away with their final show being Dec 15 (So it must be a Christmas Show)

Hosted by Justin Hamilton and Adam Richard, regulars include Cal Wilson, sketch troupe Aunty Donna and Claire Hooper and there  is always a huge line up of very special guests

Date: Mon 15 December
Time: 7.30pm
Price – $25/$30



Spleen Bar, 41 Bourke St Melbourne

Spleen Xmas  Show is having a huge three bracket show that closes with the naming of the 2014 Spleen Comic of the year.


Harley Breen, Oliver Clark, Tommy Little, Greg Larsen, Gary Chook, Xavier Michelides, Nick Cody, Anne Edmonds, Dilruk Jayasinha, Karl Chandler , Steele Saunders and surprise guests!

Date: Mon 15 December
Time: 8.30pm
Price: Gold Coin Donation



The Yarraville Club 135 Stephen St, Yarraville.

Yarraville Laughs has two sparkly fabulous Christmas Shows this year.

The 2014 Christmas Cracker 

Sat 13 Dec

Featuring Denise Scott & Fiona O’Loughlin
Plus Special MC Jeff Green (UK)

A top comedy line-up that will sell out fast.


Dinner & Show: 6:30pm
Show Only: 8pm
Show Starts: 8:30pm

Dinner & Show $100 (Doors open at 6:30pm)
Reserved Seating $55 (Doors open at 7:30pm)
General Admission $45 (Doors open at 7:30pm)

EFFIE in A Date With Effie – ‘Kiss Me Under The Camel-Toe… Sorry, Mistletoe’ 

Sat December 20

Dinner & Show: 6:30pm
Show Only: 8pm
Show Starts: 8:30pm

Ticket Options

Dinner & Show $90 (Doors open at 6:30pm)
Reserved Seating $45 (Doors open at 8pm)
General Admission $35 (Doors open at 8pm)
On the Door $40 (if available)


Also Other Pre Christmas Live Podcast Recordings:

I Love Green Guide Letters 15th Episode Live Spectacular 
At the Last Laugh Comedy Club at the Athenaeum Theatre 188 Collins St Melbourne

With a cast of 1,00s including adorable Channel 9 Newsreader Peter Hitchener

Date: Saturday Dec 6
Time: 3.30pm
Price: $20


Little Dum Dum Club 4th Birthday Show Live 

At Five Boroughs Comedy, 68 Hardware Lane (upstairs), Melbourne.

Tommy Dassalo and Karl Chandler present the usual dickheadery, tips about fast food outlets and some super special guests. Includes an extra post show by Nick Cody

Date: Sunday, December 7,
Time: 4pm.
Price: $21

Cal Wilson – It Could Have Been Me

By Ron Bingham

Cal is originally from New Zealand and I first saw her perform live at her 2001 Melbourne Comedy Festival debut show for which she won the Best Newcomer Award. She impressed me then with her comic timing and well written material and she has improved every time I have seen her. Cal has one of the fastest comic brains I have seen and she’s created a smart and wildly creative crowdpleaser.

It Could Have Been Me is based around a series of characters that Cal thinks she may have become if she had made different choices in life. Using minimum costume enhancements Cal presents us with a collection of colourful characters including a bitter children’s entertainer (it’s amazing how hypnotic those little balls on springs that people put on their heads can be), a widow who married a famous womaniser, a feminist spinster poet and a male sex-pulp-shlock science fiction writer.

Cal is a warm and friendly comedian and proves herself to be a suprisingly fantastic actress. Not only in the simple way she transforms into engaging characters but in giving the allusion that the show is getting out of hand when she clearly has everything under control, the sort of thing that Lano & Woodly performed to perfection. The show especially appears to veer out of control when the characters turn on their creator, to dispute what Cal does with their lives, placing the audience on the edge of their seats wondering where things are going to lead. There are also some impressive props used in the show which also start to get out of hand in a very funny way. The couple of songs used were integral to the show, but I could have been the only one to recognise the Australian one hit wonder What About Me by Moving Pictures.

The room was large (around 200 seats) and was full. The laughter was constant and loud, but the two ladies behind me were well over the top as they were close to wetting themselves at some points in the show. Phil Jupitus was also in the audience and he was clearly enjoying it too. It has been a while since I have heard so much loud spontaneous laughter for a fairly unknown (in the UK, at least) comedian and it made me feel a twinge of pride. If you’re thinking of coming to see this show, BOOK NOW, and consider wearing (Tena) protective undergarments just in case your laughter gets out of hand.

Cal Wilson performs It Could Have Been Me at the Gilded Balloon for more info  and tickets see the Edinburgh Fringe Website

Cal Wilson : It Could Have Been Me

By Alanta Colley

Cal Wilson, the likable Kiwi who has appeared on QI and all about invites us this comedy festival to meet the people she could have been.

What if she’d never left Auckland? What if she’d been a man? What if she had married one of the boyfriends of her twenties? What if she’d never married? The figments of Cal’s imagination spiral into ever more erratic and fanciful creations with ever more twisted destinies before our eyes.

Cal ponders what would have happened if the fear of the unknown had prevented her from moving to Australia and had taken over her life. Still performing at children’s parties in her 40’s, Fairy Robot Sparkle clamps down on fun; warning children of the imminent danger lurking in common household items and at every turn. She makes them know that death is always watching. We meet a posturing self-congratulatory sleaze bag who sought fame writing erotic science fiction novels; Calibran – Cal’s persona had she turned out to be a man. We meet the Cal who married one of her boyfriends in her 20’s; this time at his funeral; Cal toting the accent of a woman who had been forced to change to meet her husband’s expectations. We meet Adele – a feminist poet who seems unsatisfied with life. As the characters develop and expand things start to get out of control.

This show is packed to the hilt full of props, performance, puns and punch. Cal’s characters are rich and ridiculous and a lot of fun. The plot is wild and dynamic. We watch as various parts of Cal’s past, future and present both real and imaginary come colliding together in a cacophony of absurdity.

The show is a thorough delight. Quirky, well-executed and funny. Cal displays the well-honed acting skills that failed to get her into any of the many acting schools that she auditioned for. Their loss was our gain. A rollercoaster of ridiculousness; get along if you can.

It Could Have Been Me is on at Melb Town Hall – Powder Room until April 20

Cal Wilson is Guilty

by Jayden Edwards 

Energetic, bubbly and young at heart, the local favourite from across the Tasman is always a draw card in Melbourne. In Cal Wilson’s new show, she takes on the role of councillor, experienced life coach if you will. Cal is here to help us, help us face our fears in a open and trusting environment, a open forum on the topic of Guilt.

Before you even see the stage, Cal has got you soul searching, asking her audience members to write down on a piece of paper what we would like to stop feeling guilty about, while queuing. It’s a clever ploy to get you thinking and suck out the audience anecdotes, scattering them throughout her own. There were some doozies this night, and some great ones Cal’s collected from previous shows… sorry, no doctor/patient confidentiality during this consultation.

The topic of guilt is a treasure trove of comedy, Cal recalling her own long held guilts from sibling toy crushing guilt as a kid, awkward teenage sex guilt, awkward religious-god-fearing-boyfriend sex guilt, parent betrayal, son betrayal, the list goes on! It’s a relatable and hilarious timeline of Cal Wilson guilt, what makes us guilty, why, and how do we overcome it.

Cal recalls tales and explores the topic with pep and a sense of child like wonder, if you’re not into the show at the beginning, she’ll wear you down with her enthusiasm and by the end, you’ll be enthralled. Audience participation is gold once she gets there, but sometimes it felt like teacher asking questions none of the students wanted to answer, but like I said, that enthusiasm sucks you in eventually. Her quick wit helps her get the most out of any participation, and takes care of any hecklers/wafflers swiftly.

Guilty is a well balanced mix of masterful tale telling and audience “counselling” that’ll just make you happy, a sure bet.

Cal Wilson is Guilty at The Melbourne Town Hall – Powder Room

Five good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty, Saturn Returns and Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988

5 good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty

1. I have it on good authority Bradley Cooper/Scarlett Johannson/Justin Bieber/Chewbacca are coming to the show. I don’t know which night. You’ll have to come lots.

2. I know where you live. If you don’t come, I’ll hang around your house doing impressions of Chewbacca singing Justin Bieber songs.

3. I reveal lots of true stories, stripping away secrets, peeling off guilts. It’s like burlesque of the mouth.

4. There could a be surprise guest on stage with me. When I say “guest,” I mean “moth.”

5. I admit to the worst things I’ve ever done. Apart from stealing that roman artefact. No one knows about that. Oh.

Cal Wilson Is Guilty at the Melb Town Hall – Powder Room


5 Good Reasons to See Lachlan MacLeod and Simon Abrahams in Saturn Returns

One. It’s funny. Which is a good start for the comedy festival. It’s fun for you because we laugh at at our real life traumas. Which is not that much fun for us. For us, every night brings another therapy bill. We’re laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. But for you, it’s funny. No therapy bills. Perhaps a dry cleaning bill.

Two. It’s got music. 12 original songs that poke fun at everything from Uranus to grey pubic hair, Matt Preston to golden Gaytimes. There’s electro synth, piano ballads, ukelele ditties and rollicking dance numbers. There’s even a CD you can buy at the end. And if that’s not enough for you, we wear fancy silver suits. FANCY SILVER SUITS, I SAY.

Three. It’s good. And not just cos we say so. There’s this fancy four star review (, plus a whole lot of people who saw our sold out 2012 season who will say so. And Tripod – who we recently toured with – they’ll say so too. Won’t you guys? Eh, Tripod? Gatesy? Yon? The other one? Remember us… from the tour, you know… Ummm *sigh*. Plus said Lachlan was “everyday funny like Hamish and Andy, writes clever and witty lyrics like Tim Minchin, and delivers them with the pathos of Tripod.”. So at least one of us is funny. And the other is a bit funny looking…

Four. It’s deep. Like… yeah. It’s a show with heart. You’ll come out laughing and humming catchy tunes but maybe – just maybe – you’ll even come out having been moved a teensy tiny bit. Unless you’re a heartless bastard, in which case, I totally empathise.

Five. This show is about crisis. It’s poking fun at the traumas of turning 30. We’re really pretty stressed as it is. Have some heart. Even the aforementioned heartless bastards. See our show. We’re already getting old, going grey, going bald and getting fat. Don’t send us broke too.

Saturn Returns is on from  27 March to 6 April at The Butterfly Club.


5 Good Reasons to see Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988
1. The show features a ceramic owl.

2. Daniel won a Mr Personality contest aged 5, he has a sash to prove it. Last year he asked questions about what happened on that day in 1988, he regretted this.

3. Martin Riggs is an L.A. cop with suicidal tendencies and Roger Murtaugh is the unlucky police officer with whom Riggs is assigned. Together they uncover a huge drug-smuggling operation, and as their success rate grows so does their friendship. (This will make sense if you see this show)

4. It’s at 8:30 every night (except Sunday 7:30pm), I know that’s the time most good TV shows or movies start but you can record those and watch them later. Come and see this live (please don’t record it). (unless you have a sweet camera and good sound and can give me a copy).

5. There might be some singing and dancing in this show, there might not be……

Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988 is on at the Forum Theatre in the Carpet Room throughout the Festival