5 good Reasons To See Dave Thornton in Spit & Polish

1. there will be no added flavours or preservatives.

2. the entire show is in 3D.

3. ad breaks will be minimal.

4. no animals were harmed in the making of the shows jokes (although a cockroach was flattened with a Haviana thong when it ran across my keyboard. That incident was responsible for writing the joke ‘^%fhgthr’).

5. We’ll have fun.

Spit & Polish is on at ACMI – Below. For more information and bookings visit the website:

I love Green Guide Letters with Steele Saunders

By Lisa Clark

Let’s start with The Green Guide. It’s a weekly newspaper magazine about television, radio and technology and astronomy (for some inexplicable but delightful reason) but mostly about television in Melbourne’s The Age newspaper. The Letters to The Green Guide are from the public about television and radio, but mostly about television and mostly about ABC public television. I Love Green Guide Letters is a weekly podcast by Melbourne comedian Steele Saunders about the Green Guide Letters, which he loves, despite not watching many of the actual television shows that the letters are about. Steele usually has two comedian or celebrity guests on to discuss the letters with him and everyone has a lot of fun. The podcast has become very popular, even outside of Melbourne where they have no access to the Green Guide and this has a lot to do with the work Steele has put in to make it so much fun to listen to.

Steele has built a culture around the podcast of running gags about the Green Guide Letters and he has rules that his guests and listeners must obey; 1. Listeners will not send letters into the Green Guide just to have them read out on the podcast. 2. Steele will read the letters out in a high pitched, silly voice and 3. There is no talking allowed by guests during the reading of the letters. It helps add structure to what might otherwise be an excuse for comedians to get together and have a laugh and makes it feel like a special club.

This is the fourth time I’ve been to a live recording of I Love Green Guide Letters and they are always great fun, probably because everyone loves talking about television. The comedians not only have their own favourite shows to talk about but many have been on TV with their own fascinating behind the scenes experiences to share. They come on the podcast knowing that Steele is going to find some letters to read out about them or the shows they have been on. This can occasionally make for uncomfortable listening from some of the guests but he generally tries to find something nice as well as the usual negative letter. The guests for the first recorded episode of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival were Tom Gleeson, Pete Hellier and Dave Thornton and they worked well together.

If you are a fan of Steele’s podcast, then being in the audience at least once is a must, if only for the visual gags, like Pete’s framed gift for Steele apologising for his character being accidentally cut from the credit list at the end of the episode of It’s a Date that he was in and Pete and Tom’s stage whispering to each other in a huddle about Steele & Dave going on too much about the fun time they had together at the Meredith Music Festival. If you’ve never heard the podcast before this is a great chance to join in the fun and find out what it’s all about.

I love Green Guide Letters is on at the Swanston Hotel (note the venue change!) until April 19

Listen to I Love Green Guide Letters on iTunes or the website http://ilovegreenguideletters.com/

5 Good Reasons to See Dave Thornton, AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP, Bron Batten and her parents

5 good reasons to see DAVE THORNTON – Tall & Pointy 

1.)  No ads. I won’t ask you to skip ads after 5 seconds, how to find singles in your area or ask if you want to advertise your page on Facebook.

2.)  I may or may not be using the phrase ‘Unicorn spaff’ That will be worth the price of admission alone.

3.)  It will make your hair thicker and most lustrous. No wait, that’s salon level shampoo isn’t it?

4.)  I’ll be using a microphone. Have you seen these things? I don’t need to yell and you will all be able to hear without cupping your ear. The 21st century truly is amazing.

5.)  I won’t be using fusion words. You know words like chillax or amazeballs. I don’t want to make a frenemy out of you. Crap, ok I got that one out of system but I’m done now.

Dave Thornton – Tall & Pointy is on at the Banquet Room, Victoria Hotel for the duration of the festival



1) The following four points will be presented in Japanese Haikus

2) A Warm Spring Morning,
Rice Farmer Begins His Day,
The Sun Warms his Soul.

3) The Coy Pond is Full
The Coy Pond, Splashing with Light,
What Joy the Coy Have.

4) The Young Labourer
Rides to His Workplace, Sunrise.
The Boy Learns Ethic.

5) She Kneels to Master,
He Takes Her By the Warm Hand,
Pride In Her Soul.

AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP is on at the Portland Hotel except for on Mondays when it will be at the Melbourne Town Hall.


5 Good Reasons to See Bron Batten and her parents in Sweet Child of Mine

1. It features Bron Batten and her parents- live onstage!

2. The Sydney Morning Herald called it ‘Excruciating and hilarious…’ (in a good way)

3. Her Dad tells awesome Dad jokes

4. It won the award for Best Experimental Performance at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe Festival

5. It’s funny and also arty (in a good way)

Sweet Child of Mine is on at 7pm at The Northcote Town Hall, 4th-12th of april


Dave Thornton – The Some of All The Parts

By Jayden Edwards

The incredibly down to earth Dave Thornton returns to the comedy festival fresh from killer runs at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and all over the place. His head’s increasingly on the telly, on the radio, man, he must be doing something right.

Dave’s new show “The Some of All The Parts” is just another big fat slice of that “something”. The show is structured around an impending gig for a group of 12 year old private school kids, a terrifying thought, even for a seasoned professional public speaker like Dave. It’s the lead up to that faithful day that Dave draws his material, fleshing out hair-brained schemes to spark inspiration on how to inspire, like a well timed dream opportunity to interview a personal hero and an awkward sit-in on his mums sex ed class.

Dave squeezes every conceivable laugh from the story aspect of the show, while managing to tie in some general observational told with expert comic timing and larrikinism. Dave riffs off the audience with the best of them, the show flows effortlessly, there’s heart and soul behind the jokes, he’s charming, quick, witty…. I could go on and on! I guess what i’m trying to say is, Dave just doesn’t put a foot wrong. The ending is a classic underdog tale of conquering fear and kicking 12 year old school kid butt! Well, if they kids weren’t inspired, I was.

The simple fact is, stand-up just doesn’t get much better that this. Just straight, witty, accessible stand-up. A Dave Thornton gig is guaranteed gold. (Trust me, I saw him perform twice that night.)

Dave Thornton is on at Swiss House.