Jeff Green Letters Home

By Lisa Clark 

Jeff Green is one of those comedians who feel like part of the furniture, that he’s been around a long time and yes he’s been doing comedy since the 80s but he’s only been living in Australia for ten years and this show is somewhat of a celebration of the life he has made here.

This year Jeff is doing something a bit different for the Comedy Festival. It’s a concept show with a interesting structure and script. He’s going to read to us several letters he sent to his mum over the ten years since he left home in Chester in the north west of England (a little south of Liverpool). It’s a bit like pouring over an old diary and proves nostalgic for the mostly middle aged audience, also.

Ten years ago Melbourne was in the middle of a frightening drought and the rest of the world was in recession. It’s amazing how much has happened in the past ten years, to Jeff and to the world. Not all of the show is in letter form, there are a couple of videos and plenty of in between anecdotes. He sprinkles a few photos throughout the jokes and letters and I would’ve loved some more, especially at the beginning.  There are some serious moments, but Jeff is not the type to wallow in serious subjects he keeps it all pretty light and gentle.

Jeff says the letters are real, but there are so many jokes it’s hard to believe they are not somewhat embellished, or he really loves trying out his material on his mum, who doesn’t mind some ribbing. Jeff really pumps out a lot of jokes and despite starting his career as part of the alternative comedy scene his jokes are mostly of the old-school British Club style.

Jeff is very experienced at what he does and has a relaxed friendly vibe with his audience, who clearly adore him and roar with laughter throughout. If you’ve enjoyed Jeff’s work on the Gala and elsewhere, this is definitely the year to get to know him better in this show.

Jeff Green performs Letters Home at the Swiss Club til Apr 21. Except Mondays when he is at The Melbourne Town Hall.

Comedy Xmas Shows Are Coming to Town

By Lisa Clark

All around Melbourne the comedy venues are putting together Christmas shows with more laughs than you’ll find in any Christmas Cracker. We put together a list and you can check it twice. These are all the Christmas shows we know about, coming to Melbourne this December, including some exciting live podcast recordings.


The Bella Union Bar is in a Seriously Festive mood and has a lot of Christmas cheer to offer. Comedy wise there are three main offerings.

Sweetest Plum – How the Plum Stole Christmas 
Podcasters Nick Maxwell and Declan Fay will present their usual razor sharp banter**, with a star-studded line-up of celebrity guests***

**   Razor sharp banter is not guaranteed.
*** Star-studded line-up may just be Gatesy, on a stool, with a guitar
Date: 14th December, 2014
Time: 5:00pm
Price: $20/15


After Dinner Mint Christmas Spectacular By The Lords Of Luxury 
The final After Dinner Mint of the year features:
– Master of the dark arts, David Quirk
– Masters of mayhem, Aunty Donna
– Master of sideburns, Hairy Soul Man aka Kai Smythe
Plus many special guests AND a visit from the one and only Santa Claus!

Hosted by The Lords of Luxury with music from Gillian Cosgriff.

Date: Tuesday December 9
Time: 8:30pm.
Price: Presale $12/9  or $15/10 at the door


A Swinging Bella Christmas 

This will be a musical comedy show with MC Casey Bennetto and his co-host being comedy chanteuse Geraldine Quinn with their band the Bella All Stars. On Thursday 18th the special guests will be Alan Brough and Mike McLeish and on Friday the special guests will be Tripod so you can no doubt go to both and are pretty much guaranteed a sensational time.

Thur 18 Dec 2014
Fri 19 Dec 2014

Time: 7:30pm
Price: $35 Full $30 Group $25 Conc



What The Dickens!

Travel back in time to 1851, to Victorian England and the great age of discovery and storytelling. Created from your suggestions, tales of sweet-hearted heroes, sickly orphans, bumbling constables and winsome ladies are woven into a new, unique Dickensian tale every night.

Play parlour games like Poor Pussy, the Laughing Game and join Melbourne’s finest improvisors for mince pies and some Christmas cheer in the wonderful ‘curiosity shoppe’ that is The Butterfly Club.

Wednesday 17 December 2014    6:00pm
Thursday 18 December 2014     7:00pm
Friday 19 December 2014  7:00pm
Saturday 20 December 2014     7:00pm
Sunday 21 December 2014       6:00pm

Price $28/23


The Comedy Gallery @ Jacksons Christmas 
Jacksons – 8 Jackson Street Toorak

With Marty Fields, Nelson Twins, Andrew Brown, Dale Craig and Mayumi Nobetsu

Date: Tue  16 Dec
Price: $25 SHOW ONLY  $50 MEAL & SHOW – contact details for dinner and show bookings – 9827 8244
Time: 8.30


THE GH HOTEL (formally Greyhound Hotel) St Kilda

Joel Creasey’s Office Christmas Party 

Joel Creasey and special guests share their Christmas tales, disasters and songs. Join Australia’s finest comedians and celebrities at Joel’s office Christmas party!

Seating is unallocated- come down early for some pre-show Christmas cheer!

This is an ALL AGES event however anyone under 18 must be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.

Date: Sat 6th December, 2014
Time: 7:00pm (Doors open at 6pm for 7 – 8:30pm show.)
Price: $30 or $33.80 with Booking fee

Bookings through Moshtix


LOCAL LAUGHS presented by Janet A Mcleod 

At The Local Taphouse – 184 Carlisle St StKilda

With Janet’s famous Christmas style, decorations, the inimitable Andrew McClelland as MC and guests who so far include: Matt Elsbury, Rusty Berther, Dilruk Jayasinha and Cal Wilson, it’s sure to be a jolly good wiz bang night.

Date: Mon 22nd Dec
Time: 8.30pm
Price: $15/12



238 Victoria St Melbourne (opposite Queen Vic Market)

The Public Bar Xmas Show

With Steele Saunders, who will be cooking up an all-star mystery line up.

Date: Wed 17 December
Time: 8.30pm
Price: $5



At The Toff in Town, 252 Level 2 Curtain House Swanston St Melbourne.

Have a Christmas celebration with The Shelf. For three Mondays in December, The Shelf team will be rocking the night away with their final show being Dec 15 (So it must be a Christmas Show)

Hosted by Justin Hamilton and Adam Richard, regulars include Cal Wilson, sketch troupe Aunty Donna and Claire Hooper and there  is always a huge line up of very special guests

Date: Mon 15 December
Time: 7.30pm
Price – $25/$30



Spleen Bar, 41 Bourke St Melbourne

Spleen Xmas  Show is having a huge three bracket show that closes with the naming of the 2014 Spleen Comic of the year.


Harley Breen, Oliver Clark, Tommy Little, Greg Larsen, Gary Chook, Xavier Michelides, Nick Cody, Anne Edmonds, Dilruk Jayasinha, Karl Chandler , Steele Saunders and surprise guests!

Date: Mon 15 December
Time: 8.30pm
Price: Gold Coin Donation



The Yarraville Club 135 Stephen St, Yarraville.

Yarraville Laughs has two sparkly fabulous Christmas Shows this year.

The 2014 Christmas Cracker 

Sat 13 Dec

Featuring Denise Scott & Fiona O’Loughlin
Plus Special MC Jeff Green (UK)

A top comedy line-up that will sell out fast.


Dinner & Show: 6:30pm
Show Only: 8pm
Show Starts: 8:30pm

Dinner & Show $100 (Doors open at 6:30pm)
Reserved Seating $55 (Doors open at 7:30pm)
General Admission $45 (Doors open at 7:30pm)

EFFIE in A Date With Effie – ‘Kiss Me Under The Camel-Toe… Sorry, Mistletoe’ 

Sat December 20

Dinner & Show: 6:30pm
Show Only: 8pm
Show Starts: 8:30pm

Ticket Options

Dinner & Show $90 (Doors open at 6:30pm)
Reserved Seating $45 (Doors open at 8pm)
General Admission $35 (Doors open at 8pm)
On the Door $40 (if available)


Also Other Pre Christmas Live Podcast Recordings:

I Love Green Guide Letters 15th Episode Live Spectacular 
At the Last Laugh Comedy Club at the Athenaeum Theatre 188 Collins St Melbourne

With a cast of 1,00s including adorable Channel 9 Newsreader Peter Hitchener

Date: Saturday Dec 6
Time: 3.30pm
Price: $20


Little Dum Dum Club 4th Birthday Show Live 

At Five Boroughs Comedy, 68 Hardware Lane (upstairs), Melbourne.

Tommy Dassalo and Karl Chandler present the usual dickheadery, tips about fast food outlets and some super special guests. Includes an extra post show by Nick Cody

Date: Sunday, December 7,
Time: 4pm.
Price: $21

Jeff Green : All Guns Blazing!

By Sofia Monkiewicz

International comedians telling stories about their experiences with Melbourne can sometimes get a little tedious (cue jokes about the weather, the public transport system, Australian drivers and our roads, and Frankston and basically any outer suburb). Jeff Green mentions all of these classics in his new show All Guns Blazing but he manages to keep his insights fresh, entertaining, and not tiresome in the slightest.

Green became an Australian permanent resident several years ago and his Melbourne International Comedy Festival show focuses mainly on his adjustment to living in Melbourne with his wife and two children. While he does briefly poke fun at Frankston and complain rigorously about our famous bipolar weather, he also entertains with original tales of his experiences with Australian public toilets and with one of our greatest national treasures: Bunnings. It may be his classy suit and tie get-up, his English accent or perhaps just his personable nature, but Green is consistently and unwaveringly charming. From the detailed re-enactment of a performance he once did where a firework was lit while clenched tightly in his backside to a side-splitting description of his talented ability to perform poorly in the bedroom, even at his very crudest he still remains a gentleman.

It is easy to see that Green is a stand-up comedy veteran. He is incredibly comfortable on stage and does not hide behind his microphone. He speaks with his audience as though he is conversing with friends, telling us of his adventures and venting about his life. All Guns Blazing is essentially a series of humorous rants blended with charismatic sarcasm plus a hint of grumpy-old-man. Green’s commentary on things like yoga, food intolerance and automatic doors are akin to that of every 50-year-old man who has kids and a yearning nostalgia for the good old days. He definitely appealed mostly to the older members of the audience but was also enjoyed by the younger crowd, possibly because he reminded them of their dads (this was certainly the case for me!). He also performs a rap about his cat which was funny largely because of its lame-factor and because, well, it was about his cat.

Throughout the show there were several opportune moments for Green to converse with and react to the crowd a little but he stuck strictly to his prepared material. His hour-long monologue is excellent, however it would have been even better if he had acknowledged the few times where audience members did something somewhat amusing.

Jeff Green encompasses all factors necessary to create a successful Festival show, including but not limited to: a strong stage presence, many amusing insights about the world we live in, and consistent, well-timed punchlines. He has been part of the comedy scene for a long time, and this is made very clear by his seamless performance. Charming, sarcastic and clever, All Guns Blazing is a ticket to guaranteed laughter.

All Guns Blazing! is at Melb Town Hall & Forum Theatre until April 14