Five Good Reasons To See Miss Itchy’s Lazy Susan

1. Miss Itchy have won a Barry Award, A Piece of Wood Award and Heaviest Aggregate Show of the Festival.

2. There’s this bit in it where stuff shoots out of one of the cast members*.

3. If you have a sudden urge to get married or buried during the show, one of the cast members is an ordained Doctor Reverend**.

4. If you don’t come to this show, you’ll never know the glory that two fat mermaids, writhing on Black Rock Beach can give you in the downstairs area – if you know what we mean and if you don’t know what we mean, we mean there’s two FishBitches in this show and they’re more sex than 5 tonnes of sex explosion that’s busted out all over a public place –  if you know what we mean and if you STILL don’t know what we mean, we mean, Oh – ***you WILL get a moist boner.

5. It’s the only show in the entire festival with a free monkey****.

* The delectable Scott Brennan, who plays Prince Sex-Wee
** The Very Reverend Dr. Tim Harris officiates the show.
*** Yes, even the ladies will be turgid.
**** Free Monkey can only be redeemed at the show, with a ticket.


Miss Itchy’s Late Night Larvae

By Elyce Phillips

Australia’s only identical twin teenage bridesmaids, Miss Itchy, have returned with their terrifically trashy and incredibly wrong talk show Late Night Larvae. Miss Gerda (Linda Haggar) and Miss Candy-Girl (Fahey Younger) bumble their way through a jam-packed evening of guests, prizes and aggressive incompetence.

Late Night Larvae feels like ‘The Tonight Show’ with a possessed autocue, hijacked by your maddest aunts. The show was very rough in parts – Gerda and Candy-Girl both had some trouble with the script, and Gerda was forgetful when it came to the location of characters on the stage, directing her lines to the voices backstage instead. But with these characters, it really didn’t matter. Every little slip-up just added to the wonderfully unhinged energy Miss Itchy bring to the stage.

Though the jokes have been updated for a new crowd, old favourites like Alphonse the Room Temperature Pony remain (He is still a pleasant 22 degrees). The show’s ad breaks, in the form of pre-recorded pieces, were the strongest part of the show. Ads for a Christmas club and a safari resort on the Peninsula were highlights, and the running gags about Matt Preston are brilliant. The prize wheel was also hilarious, with some truly underwhelming prizes awarded to lucky seat holders.

Late Night Larvae’s supporting cast is very strong. Tim Harris brings a surprising amount of gravitas to the roles of Alphonse and newsreader Cliff Palate, both of which contrasted brilliantly with the constant fidgeting and belching of the Misses. Jennifer Wong was a stand-out as Sophie the Box Jellyfish and Miss Gerda’s special helper Emoji. The special guest for the evening was Joel Creasey, who seemed just as baffled by the show as the audience. It’s worth the price of entry just to see the spectacular interview format the girls have devised for their guests.

The humour prances around the line of good taste – some jokes hit the mark more than others. For me, a joke about the Apple factory in Shenzhen went too far. There is certainly some shock value in the show, but the stronger material was in their flirtations with the absurd, rather than the gross. Fortunately, there are enough laughs to be had that the occasional flat moment was never more than a flicker.

Late Night Larvae is not for the easily offended, but if you’re prepared to take the misses with the hits, you’ll have a great time. Miss Gerda and Miss Candy-Girl have produced a monstrosity of a talk show that could make a delightful end to your festival evening.

Miss Itchy’s Late Night Larvae is on at Melb Town Hall – Old Met Shop until April 19