1. It’s got literal stone fruit, and metaphorical testicles, together in a show at last.
2. There is a story about Don Burke.
3. There is a story about a man whose plums fell out.
4. It’ll make you feel less alone. (Especially if you’ve ever had your plums fall out.)
5. You’ll find out why I would write a whole show about plums and why my husband can go stick that in his plums.
CLAIRE HOOPER – Plums is on at The Cloak Room, Melbourne Town Hall
1. I’m like what would happen if you combined Batman, George Clooney,
a vicious mountain lion, a friendly bearded guy and a great sense of
humor, then took out Batman, Clooney and the lion.
2. I am not a serial killer, which is sweet for you from a
personal-safety perspective. See that? I’ve got your back.
3. I have been nominated for a number of prestigious comedy awards,
which indicates that I am quite good at comedy. On the other hand, I
have never actually won any of those awards, because… I don’t know,
I think I’m too Rock n’ Roll or something. Probably, I mean. Look,
it’ll be fine.
4. You like the kindly tone in which I address you, Gentle Reader.
5. I can do… THIS! (I know you can’t see what I’m doing right now,
but trust me, it’s pretty wicked.)
Asaf Gerchak is a Terrible Stage Name is on at The Horse Bazaar from 26 Mar – 6 April
1. It’s on at 9.45pm, which is heaps better than it being on at 9.45am. Because then you’d have to get time off from work, and you’ll probably get back to work just before lunch, then you go to lunch, and you’ve lost half the day on some stupid, shitty comedy show. I mean, amazing show. You’ve had a great day. Let’s go again.
2. Which other show’s name tells you how many jokes they have in them? None. They’re running scared. They probably don’t even have ANY jokes in them. They’re probably dumb plays. Who wants to see a dumb play? NOBODY. Who wants to see a show with the number of jokes in the title? EVERYBODY. (Everybody that’s cool, that is.)
3. It’s at the Forum Theatre, in Flinders Street. Which is the home of the ghost of Tony Barber. If you listen closely, you can still hear him inside the theatre at night, wailing, “I’m not dead. I’m actually Tony Barber. The cleaners locked me in here! And the 25 dollars was behind Collette Mann.”
4. Everyone who attends the show gets a prized bull. That’s right, an Angus or a Hereford of your choice, weighing upwards of 900 kilograms. You get it after the show. That’d be pretty stupid, giving you a bull BEFORE the show. There you’d all be, sitting in a tiny theatre, each with a bull! I’m no idiot. You get it after the show.
5. I’m diabetic. But instead of insulin, I need crowds at my show. Or else I go into a fit. Not an epileptic one or anything. More of a hissy one. It’s not great.
Karl Chandler has (Literally) 1.5 million of his finest new jokes is on at Forum Theatre – Pizza Room
Karl will also be appearing in the Little Dum Dum Club Live Podcasts Mondays at the Town Hall