5 Good Reasons to see Josh Earl three times and the other Lime Champions

Josh Earl vs The Australian Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Book 

1. This show is about the greatest book ever published, a book that made birthdays exciting for thousands of children across Australia throughout the 80’s and early 90’s

2. This show actually helped get the original book republished, which then went on to become the highest selling cook book in Australia of 2012, of which I get…none of the profits

3. Every cake in this show will be shown on a cinema sized screen, You’ve never seen dessicated coconut this big!

4. I write a letter to Ita Buttrose on a typewriter cake to the theme music to Murder She Wrote

5. It has sold out shows all over the country and won the Best Comedy show at Fringeworld 2012

Josh Earl vs The Australian Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book is on at The State Library of Victoria at 8pm March 29, 30, April 5, 6

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/the-australian-women-s-weekly-childrens-birthday-cake-book-josh-earl-vs

 

Josh Earl is a Librarian

1. This is a show about Librarians, in a Library, by a Librarian, it’s like the holy trinity

2. This show goes all through the Dewey Decimal System, the only comedy show to have ever attempted this feat (probably for good reason)

3. This is the best place to see a lot of Librarians lose their mind as they see the Call Number 612.6 on a big screen

4. If you want to see a guy who looks like a hairy skeleton take his shirt off this is the one for you

5. This show is match fit having just sold out my entire season at Fringworld in Perth and Brisbane Comedy Festival

Josh Earl is a Librarian is on at The State Library of Victoria at 8pm  April 12, 13, 19, 20

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/a-librarian-josh-earl-is

 

Lime Champions’ Nightmare Tales

1. After 4 years of performing the only sketch comedy show on Melbourne radio the Lime Champions are bringing their confusing world to the stage

2. There are Dancing men, a secret revealed, an accident in a stairwell, robotic phone sex and strong frequent acting

3. This show is banned in Queensland

4. The acts in this have been described as “SHOCKING!! DISTURBING!!! NUNAWADING!!!”

5. Oliver Clark provides a voiceover, that is worth the ticket price alone

Lime Champions’ Nightmare Tales is on at The Lunch Room at The Melbourne Town Hall at 9:45 April 1, 8, 15

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/nightmare-tales-lime-champions

5 Good Reasons to see Dave Bloustien, Laura Davis and Shane Matheson.

5 reasons to see Dave Bloustien’s Grand Guignol 

1. Rip It Up Magazine said “murder will never make you laugh so hard”. And they’re from Adelaide, so they should know.

2. It’s equal parts comedy and horror. So if it’s hilarious, it’s comedy. And if it’s horrible, it’s on purpose.

3. It has creeptastic puppets designed and built by Henson-trained comedian Lana Schwarcz and original music written and performed by FourPlay String Quartet’s Peter Hollo (with Dave) (you can see / hear some of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWBBIjim0NU)

4. It has something for everyone: standup, storytelling, extreme silliness, a castrated pharoah, party political cult conspiracies, fractured fairy tales, barista confessions, beat poetry and a fez.

5. In 10 years of comedy, it’s the best thing Dave Bloustien (Good News Week, Glass house, Randling) has written. And he’s written a LOT.

6. It’s ‘arts’ so you can enjoy it, even if you are innumerate.

Dave Bloustien’s Grand Guignol is on at Trades Hall in the The Evatt Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/grand-guignol-dave-bloustien-s

FIVE REASONS TO SEE Laura Davis Look Out, It’s a Trap!

1: This is the worst joke Laura has ever written. Q: “What’s a ghosts favourite kind of beer? A: Ghosts don’t like beer. They prefer spirits. See? Even that’s pretty good.

2: If you would like to see what it would be like if Lisa Simpson did Stand-Up Comedy.

3: If you’d like to see something that you’ll never have expected unless you’re very good at expecting things.

4: The show is free. As in the adjective, not the adverb. “You walk out feeling warm, contented, practically hugged…Go and see Laura Davis if you like laughing and feeling nice.” –Watchoutfor.com

5:Laura has been compared to Comics Daniel Kitson, Josie Long and David O’Doherty. If you enjoy any of those people, then you’ll probably enjoy “Look Out, It’s a Trap!”

Laura Davis Look Out, It’s a Trap! is on at The Tuxedo Cat from the 11th of April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/look-out-it-s-a-trap-laura-davis


Five good reasons to see Shane Matheson  And The Immortal Space Hopper of Doom

1.Last year I won the mysterious “Jhonsy Award” for most innovative local act.

2.The show has a great Broadway number.

3.The audience gets to join in the fun by throwing things at me.

4.It contains a topical joke about 16th Century religious persecution.

5.I literally die on stage (not literally).

Shane Matheson And The Immortal Space Hopper of Doom is on at The Tuxedo Cat from the 11th of April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/and-the-immortal-space-hopper-of-doom-shane-matheson

 

 

5 Good Reasons to see Claire Hooper, Asaf Gerchak and KARL CHANDLER

5 GOOD REASONS TO SEE CLAIRE HOOPER – Plums

1. It’s got literal stone fruit, and metaphorical testicles, together in a show at last.

2. There is a story about Don Burke.

3. There is a story about a man whose plums fell out.

4. It’ll make you feel less alone. (Especially if you’ve ever had your plums fall out.)

5. You’ll find out why I would write a whole show about plums and why my husband can go stick that in his plums.

CLAIRE HOOPER – Plums is on at The Cloak Room, Melbourne Town Hall

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/plums-claire-hooper

 

5 Good Reasons to see Asaf Gerchak is a Terrible Stage Name

1. I’m like what would happen if you combined Batman, George Clooney,
a vicious mountain lion, a friendly bearded guy and a great sense of
humor, then took out Batman, Clooney and the lion.

2. I am not a serial killer, which is sweet for you from a
personal-safety perspective. See that? I’ve got your back.

3. I have been nominated for a number of prestigious comedy awards,
which indicates that I am quite good at comedy. On the other hand, I
have never actually won any of those awards, because… I don’t know,
I think I’m too Rock n’ Roll or something. Probably, I mean. Look,
it’ll be fine.

4. You like the kindly tone in which I address you, Gentle Reader.

5. I can do… THIS! (I know you can’t see what I’m doing right now,
but trust me, it’s pretty wicked.)

Asaf Gerchak is a Terrible Stage Name is on at The Horse Bazaar from 26 Mar – 6 April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/is-a-terrible-stage-name-asaf-gerchak

 

5 REASONS TO SEE KARL CHANDLER HAS (LITERALLY) 1.5 MILLION JOKES 

1. It’s on at 9.45pm, which is heaps better than it being on at 9.45am. Because then you’d have to get time off from work, and you’ll probably get back to work just before lunch, then you go to lunch, and you’ve lost half the day on some stupid, shitty comedy show. I mean, amazing show. You’ve had a great day. Let’s go again.

2. Which other show’s name tells you how many jokes they have in them? None. They’re running scared. They probably don’t even have ANY jokes in them. They’re probably dumb plays. Who wants to see a dumb play? NOBODY. Who wants to see a show with the number of jokes in the title? EVERYBODY. (Everybody that’s cool, that is.)

3. It’s at the Forum Theatre, in Flinders Street. Which is the home of the ghost of Tony Barber. If you listen closely, you can still hear him inside the theatre at night, wailing, “I’m not dead. I’m actually Tony Barber. The cleaners locked me in here! And the 25 dollars was behind Collette Mann.”

4. Everyone who attends the show gets a prized bull. That’s right, an Angus or a Hereford of your choice, weighing upwards of 900 kilograms. You get it after the show. That’d be pretty stupid, giving you a bull BEFORE the show. There you’d all be, sitting in a tiny theatre, each with a bull! I’m no idiot. You get it after the show.

5. I’m diabetic. But instead of insulin, I need crowds at my show. Or else I go into a fit. Not an epileptic one or anything. More of a hissy one. It’s not great.

Karl Chandler has (Literally) 1.5 million of his finest new jokes is on at Forum Theatre – Pizza Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/has-literally-1-5-million-jokes-karl-chandler

Karl will also be appearing in the Little Dum Dum Club Live Podcasts  Mondays at the Town Hall

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/live-podcasts-the-little-dum-dum-club

 

Five good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty, Saturn Returns and Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988

5 good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty

1. I have it on good authority Bradley Cooper/Scarlett Johannson/Justin Bieber/Chewbacca are coming to the show. I don’t know which night. You’ll have to come lots.

2. I know where you live. If you don’t come, I’ll hang around your house doing impressions of Chewbacca singing Justin Bieber songs.

3. I reveal lots of true stories, stripping away secrets, peeling off guilts. It’s like burlesque of the mouth.

4. There could a be surprise guest on stage with me. When I say “guest,” I mean “moth.”

5. I admit to the worst things I’ve ever done. Apart from stealing that roman artefact. No one knows about that. Oh.

Cal Wilson Is Guilty at the Melb Town Hall – Powder Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/guilty-cal-wilson-is

 

5 Good Reasons to See Lachlan MacLeod and Simon Abrahams in Saturn Returns

One. It’s funny. Which is a good start for the comedy festival. It’s fun for you because we laugh at at our real life traumas. Which is not that much fun for us. For us, every night brings another therapy bill. We’re laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. But for you, it’s funny. No therapy bills. Perhaps a dry cleaning bill.

Two. It’s got music. 12 original songs that poke fun at everything from Uranus to grey pubic hair, Matt Preston to golden Gaytimes. There’s electro synth, piano ballads, ukelele ditties and rollicking dance numbers. There’s even a CD you can buy at the end. And if that’s not enough for you, we wear fancy silver suits. FANCY SILVER SUITS, I SAY.

Three. It’s good. And not just cos we say so. There’s this fancy four star review (http://au.artshub.com/au/news-article/reviews/performing-arts/saturn-returns-190291?sc=1), plus a whole lot of people who saw our sold out 2012 season who will say so. And Tripod – who we recently toured with – they’ll say so too. Won’t you guys? Eh, Tripod? Gatesy? Yon? The other one? Remember us… from the tour, you know… Ummm *sigh*. Plus TheatrePress.com.au said Lachlan was “everyday funny like Hamish and Andy, writes clever and witty lyrics like Tim Minchin, and delivers them with the pathos of Tripod.”. So at least one of us is funny. And the other is a bit funny looking…

Four. It’s deep. Like… yeah. It’s a show with heart. You’ll come out laughing and humming catchy tunes but maybe – just maybe – you’ll even come out having been moved a teensy tiny bit. Unless you’re a heartless bastard, in which case, I totally empathise.

Five. This show is about crisis. It’s poking fun at the traumas of turning 30. We’re really pretty stressed as it is. Have some heart. Even the aforementioned heartless bastards. See our show. We’re already getting old, going grey, going bald and getting fat. Don’t send us broke too.

Saturn Returns is on from  27 March to 6 April at The Butterfly Club.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/saturn-returns-simon-abrahams-lachlan-macleod-in

 

5 Good Reasons to see Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988
1. The show features a ceramic owl.

2. Daniel won a Mr Personality contest aged 5, he has a sash to prove it. Last year he asked questions about what happened on that day in 1988, he regretted this.

3. Martin Riggs is an L.A. cop with suicidal tendencies and Roger Murtaugh is the unlucky police officer with whom Riggs is assigned. Together they uncover a huge drug-smuggling operation, and as their success rate grows so does their friendship. (This will make sense if you see this show)

4. It’s at 8:30 every night (except Sunday 7:30pm), I know that’s the time most good TV shows or movies start but you can record those and watch them later. Come and see this live (please don’t record it). (unless you have a sweet camera and good sound and can give me a copy).

5. There might be some singing and dancing in this show, there might not be……

Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988 is on at the Forum Theatre in the Carpet Room throughout the Festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/mr-personality-1988-daniel-connell

5 Good Reasons to See Dave Thornton, AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP, Bron Batten and her parents

5 good reasons to see DAVE THORNTON – Tall & Pointy 

1.)  No ads. I won’t ask you to skip ads after 5 seconds, how to find singles in your area or ask if you want to advertise your page on Facebook.

2.)  I may or may not be using the phrase ‘Unicorn spaff’ That will be worth the price of admission alone.

3.)  It will make your hair thicker and most lustrous. No wait, that’s salon level shampoo isn’t it?

4.)  I’ll be using a microphone. Have you seen these things? I don’t need to yell and you will all be able to hear without cupping your ear. The 21st century truly is amazing.

5.)  I won’t be using fusion words. You know words like chillax or amazeballs. I don’t want to make a frenemy out of you. Crap, ok I got that one out of system but I’m done now.

Dave Thornton – Tall & Pointy is on at the Banquet Room, Victoria Hotel for the duration of the festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/tall-pointy-dave-thornton

5 Good Reasons To See AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP

1) The following four points will be presented in Japanese Haikus

2) A Warm Spring Morning,
Rice Farmer Begins His Day,
The Sun Warms his Soul.

3) The Coy Pond is Full
The Coy Pond, Splashing with Light,
What Joy the Coy Have.

4) The Young Labourer
Rides to His Workplace, Sunrise.
The Boy Learns Ethic.

5) She Kneels to Master,
He Takes Her By the Warm Hand,
Pride In Her Soul.

AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP is on at the Portland Hotel except for on Mondays when it will be at the Melbourne Town Hall.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/aunty-donna-and-the-fax-machine-shop<

5 Good Reasons to See Bron Batten and her parents in Sweet Child of Mine

1. It features Bron Batten and her parents- live onstage!

2. The Sydney Morning Herald called it ‘Excruciating and hilarious…’ (in a good way)

3. Her Dad tells awesome Dad jokes

4. It won the award for Best Experimental Performance at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe Festival

5. It’s funny and also arty (in a good way)

Sweet Child of Mine is on at 7pm at The Northcote Town Hall, 4th-12th of april

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/sweet-child-of-mine-bron-batten-her-parents

5 Good Reasons to see The Improv Conspiracy’s Our Friend Harold, Dirty Thirties and Here Come The Girls

The Improv Conspiracy will soon return to The Croft Institute for another festival season of hilarious improvised mayhem.  

Here are 5 Good Reasons to check out their new show Our Friend Harold:
                                      
1. It’s 100% improvised, so no two shows will be the same. We have no idea what is going to happen each night until you suggest something, which means we’re always genuinely excited to perform.  Get burnt out or sick of our material halfway through the festival? Not us!

2. Each show is actually TWO shows in one!  The Harold is an improvised format that takes around 30 minutes to perform, so our hour-long show features two Harold teams who each get their chance to make you laugh!
                                                                         
3. We now have five different Harold teams, so you’d have to come to three shows in order to see them all and pick your favourite.  And we really recommend that you DO pick a favourite, and let everyone know… we want our in-house team rivalries to mimic the best feuds in the sporting world!

4. In addition to our large list of veteran cast members, we’ve just added 11 hilarious new performers to the roster. We’ve been training them in a secret comedy laboratory since October! Seriously, we actually have a secret comedy laboratory: http://improvconspiracy.com/workshops 

5. Improvised comedy is underrepresented in the Comedy Festival. The Harold format is underrepresented in the world of Australian improvised comedy. We’re performing Harolds in one of the city’s most difficult-to-find, hidden laneway bars. Come on hipsters, it doesn’t get much more niche than this!  Melbourne at its finest.

For more information, check out http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/our-friend-harold-the-improv-conspiracy and http://www.improvconspiracy.com

 

5 Good Reasons To See Erin Melville and Morven Smith in  Dirty Thirties @ Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2013

1. Are you feeling a little bit dirty? Or are you simply feeling a little bit thirty? Whether you’re in your Dirty Thirties, Naughty Forties or the Nifty Fifties, Morven and Erin’s tales
of the past, the present and perspective on the future really resonate. The ladies, 31 and 35, have led an interesting existence to say the least!

2. If you’re in your twenties this is a show that will give you plenty of belly laughs – at some point you’ll reach your thirties – they did and look at them now! The show is pro-ageing. It’s about embracing the fine lines, nuzzling those metabolic changes and getting ready for the next stage; you can’t go backwards, only forward!

3. All the single ladies, all the single ladies don’t fret. Dirty Thirties will show you a sure-fire way to figure out whether he’s a good egg or a bad egg. Applicable to the single gents as well!

4. Morven treats the audience to a demonstration of her ‘special’ talent, which all audience members can attempt to learn at home, guaranteed to massively improve your life, in many different ways! They’re a generous pair and want to make sure they’re doing their bit to ‘give back’.

5. The girls powered through a great run at the Adelaide Fringe securing great reviews and awesome feedback from the crowds (despite a bumpy start with knobbish venue owners of the Bullshit and Hard to Bear Adelaide pulling the plug on day 1 of Fringe – thanks Ambassadors Hotel Adelaide!). This duo of up and coming Melbourne comediennes have been working hard all around the world and have great show-chemistry. Come to the show, share in the fun and the laughs and feel as though you’re hanging out with a couple of old mates.

Dirty Thirties is on from March 27th – April 7th, 11 shows only. No Mondays. 930pm/830pm Sunday @ Red Violin 231 Bourke Street. 3000.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/dirty-thirties-erin-melville-morven-smith

 

And now: the 5 reasons for Here Come The Girls

1. The sell-out 2012 show returns with a new line up of hilarious ladies from the local Melbourne circuit, interstate and around the world. Host Erin Melville (Otherwise known as Lady Melville) puts together a different
line up every night with a few surprises!

2. Each show features one bloke, the token bloke or as they’re affectionately known, the ‘cock spot’. Just one though. 5 girls, 1 guy – lucky fella!

3. Previous acts have included Shappi Khorsandi, Bev Killick, Urzula Carlson, Jan Maree, Em O’Loughlin, Linda Beatty, Geraldine Quinn and many more. Plus last year we saw Akmal Saleh, Jeff Green, Marcel Lucont, Chris Franklin and Greg Fleet make special appearances. This year will feature some firm favourites as well as a few names that can’t be mentioned…yet!

4. The show will continue it’s support of White Ribbon – Australia’s campaign to stop violence against women. Last year the show contributed part proceeds and sold bands and ribbons, raising almost $1000. A one-off all-proceeds event was held in November 2012 and HCTG raised over $1400 in one night.

5. It’s a fun night out for girls and guys alike, something for everyone. Silly, sassy, surprising comedy… Here Come The Girls!

Red Violin 231 Bourke St, Melbourne 3000. www.tixnofee.com
March 27th – April 21st (No Monday’s) 815pm/715pm Sundays

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/here-come-the-girls