5 good reasons – Page 93 – Squirrel Comedy

5 Good Reasons to See Dave Thornton, AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP, Bron Batten and her parents

5 good reasons to see DAVE THORNTON – Tall & Pointy

1.) No ads. I won’t ask you to skip ads after 5 seconds, how to find singles in your area or ask if you want to advertise your page on Facebook.

2.) I may or may not be using the phrase ‘Unicorn spaff’ That will be worth the price of admission alone.

3.) It will make your hair thicker and most lustrous. No wait, that’s salon level shampoo isn’t it?

4.) I’ll be using a microphone. Have you seen these things? I don’t need to yell and you will all be able to hear without cupping your ear. The 21^st century truly is amazing.

5.) I won’t be using fusion words. You know words like chillax or amazeballs. I don’t want to make a frenemy out of you. Crap, ok I got that one out of system but I’m done now.

Dave Thornton – Tall & Pointy is on at the Banquet Room, Victoria Hotel for the duration of the festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/tall-pointy-dave-thornton

5 Good Reasons To See AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP

1) The following four points will be presented in Japanese Haikus

2) A Warm Spring Morning,
Rice Farmer Begins His Day,
The Sun Warms his Soul.

3) The Coy Pond is Full
The Coy Pond, Splashing with Light,
What Joy the Coy Have.

4) The Young Labourer
Rides to His Workplace, Sunrise.
The Boy Learns Ethic.

5) She Kneels to Master,
He Takes Her By the Warm Hand,
Pride In Her Soul.

AUNTY DONNA AND THE FAX MACHINE SHOP is on at the Portland Hotel except for on Mondays when it will be at the Melbourne Town Hall.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/aunty-donna-and-the-fax-machine-shop<

5 Good Reasons to See Bron Batten and her parents in Sweet Child of Mine

1. It features Bron Batten and her parents- live onstage!

2. The Sydney Morning Herald called it ‘Excruciating and hilarious…’ (in a good way)

3. Her Dad tells awesome Dad jokes

4. It won the award for Best Experimental Performance at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe Festival

5. It’s funny and also arty (in a good way)

Sweet Child of Mine is on at 7pm at The Northcote Town Hall, 4th-12th of april

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/sweet-child-of-mine-bron-batten-her-parents

5 Good Reasons to see The Improv Conspiracy’s Our Friend Harold, Dirty Thirties and Here Come The Girls

The Improv Conspiracy will soon return to The Croft Institute for another festival season of hilarious improvised mayhem.

Here are 5 Good Reasons to check out their new show Our Friend Harold:

1. It’s 100% improvised, so no two shows will be the same. We have no idea what is going to happen each night until you suggest something, which means we’re always genuinely excited to perform. Get burnt out or sick of our material halfway through the festival? Not us!

2. Each show is actually TWO shows in one! The Harold is an improvised format that takes around 30 minutes to perform, so our hour-long show features two Harold teams who each get their chance to make you laugh!

3. We now have five different Harold teams, so you’d have to come to three shows in order to see them all and pick your favourite. And we really recommend that you DO pick a favourite, and let everyone know… we want our in-house team rivalries to mimic the best feuds in the sporting world!

4. In addition to our large list of veteran cast members, we’ve just added 11 hilarious new performers to the roster. We’ve been training them in a secret comedy laboratory since October! Seriously, we actually have a secret comedy laboratory: http://improvconspiracy.com/workshops

5. Improvised comedy is underrepresented in the Comedy Festival. The Harold format is underrepresented in the world of Australian improvised comedy. We’re performing Harolds in one of the city’s most difficult-to-find, hidden laneway bars. Come on hipsters, it doesn’t get much more niche than this! Melbourne at its finest.

For more information, check out http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/our-friend-harold-the-improv-conspiracy and http://www.improvconspiracy.com

5 Good Reasons To See Erin Melville and Morven Smith in Dirty Thirties @ Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2013

1. Are you feeling a little bit dirty? Or are you simply feeling a little bit thirty? Whether you’re in your Dirty Thirties, Naughty Forties or the Nifty Fifties, Morven and Erin’s tales
of the past, the present and perspective on the future really resonate. The ladies, 31 and 35, have led an interesting existence to say the least!

2. If you’re in your twenties this is a show that will give you plenty of belly laughs – at some point you’ll reach your thirties – they did and look at them now! The show is pro-ageing. It’s about embracing the fine lines, nuzzling those metabolic changes and getting ready for the next stage; you can’t go backwards, only forward!

3. All the single ladies, all the single ladies don’t fret. Dirty Thirties will show you a sure-fire way to figure out whether he’s a good egg or a bad egg. Applicable to the single gents as well!

4. Morven treats the audience to a demonstration of her ‘special’ talent, which all audience members can attempt to learn at home, guaranteed to massively improve your life, in many different ways! They’re a generous pair and want to make sure they’re doing their bit to ‘give back’.

5. The girls powered through a great run at the Adelaide Fringe securing great reviews and awesome feedback from the crowds (despite a bumpy start with knobbish venue owners of the Bullshit and Hard to Bear Adelaide pulling the plug on day 1 of Fringe – thanks Ambassadors Hotel Adelaide!). This duo of up and coming Melbourne comediennes have been working hard all around the world and have great show-chemistry. Come to the show, share in the fun and the laughs and feel as though you’re hanging out with a couple of old mates.

Dirty Thirties is on from March 27th – April 7th, 11 shows only. No Mondays. 930pm/830pm Sunday @ Red Violin 231 Bourke Street. 3000.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/dirty-thirties-erin-melville-morven-smith

And now: the 5 reasons for Here Come The Girls

1. The sell-out 2012 show returns with a new line up of hilarious ladies from the local Melbourne circuit, interstate and around the world. Host Erin Melville (Otherwise known as Lady Melville) puts together a different
line up every night with a few surprises!

2. Each show features one bloke, the token bloke or as they’re affectionately known, the ‘cock spot’. Just one though. 5 girls, 1 guy – lucky fella!

3. Previous acts have included Shappi Khorsandi, Bev Killick, Urzula Carlson, Jan Maree, Em O’Loughlin, Linda Beatty, Geraldine Quinn and many more. Plus last year we saw Akmal Saleh, Jeff Green, Marcel Lucont, Chris Franklin and Greg Fleet make special appearances. This year will feature some firm favourites as well as a few names that can’t be mentioned…yet!

4. The show will continue it’s support of White Ribbon – Australia’s campaign to stop violence against women. Last year the show contributed part proceeds and sold bands and ribbons, raising almost $1000. A one-off all-proceeds event was held in November 2012 and HCTG raised over $1400 in one night.

5. It’s a fun night out for girls and guys alike, something for everyone. Silly, sassy, surprising comedy… Here Come The Girls!

Red Violin 231 Bourke St, Melbourne 3000. www.tixnofee.com
March 27th – April 21st (No Monday’s) 815pm/715pm Sundays

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/here-come-the-girls

5 Good Reasons to see 2 Ukuleles and a Cello, Kunt and the Gang and KelFi & FiKel

5 Good Reasons to See 2 Ukuleles and a Cello

1. You always wanted to know what heavy metal/electro/rap/other unlikely genre sounds like coming out of a ukulele and cello.

2. You really want to embarrass your mate/lover/archenemy by having a song sung about them by a group of complete strangers.

3. We’re dressing up in dinnerwear especially for you.

4. Two Ukuleles!

5. AND a Cello!

2 Ukes & a Cello are playing Caz Reitops Dirty Secrets for 12 shows from 3/4.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/2-ukuleles-and-a-cello

5 Good Reasons to see my Festival Show by Kunt from Kunt and the Gang

1. The songs are funny. They will make you laugh. This is great if you are recently bereaved as it will take your mind off you missing your lost loved one for an hour.

2. The songs are catchy. They will make you go home humming something. This is great if you are an insomniac as it will give you something to do in the middle of the night instead of laying there hating your partner for their contented slumber.

3. The songs are popular. They will make you feel with it. This is great if you’re a bit of a fuddy duddy because you will be dragged up to date as you hear the genuine top 75 UK hits F*cksticks and Use My Arseh*le As A Cunt.

4. The songs are cultural. They will make you better informed. This is great if you are striving to better yourself as you will leave the show with such useful knowledge as in the UK most men wash their helmets before going on a night out.5. The songs are sexy. They will make you get aroused. This is great if you are a lady whose husband doesn’t pay her any attention anymore as you will remember how it feels to feel alive and probably get a moist on for the first time in ages.

Kunt & the Gang are playing Sahara Restaurant & Bar 27/3 – 14/4

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/kunt-and-the-gang

5 Good Reasons to see KelFi & FiKel

1. They were listed in SMH’s Top Ten Rising Comedians in 2012

2. They are like Snugglepot & Cuddlepie on acid, and they sing too!

3. They will NEVER put a naked pregnancy photo on facebook

4. They are playing at the coolest venue in town, the Fab (verb) FAD (noun) Gallery in Chinatown

5. In their show, many important ideas are fhighlighted, including but not limited to:

a) A Dugong in a hat
b) A Llama with alpaca
c) Hitler on a Segway

KelFi & FiKel are playing the Fad Gallery 28/3 – 20/4

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/kelfi-fikel

5 Good Reasons to see Cinema Fiasco, Tegan Higginbotham Touched By Fev and Watson – Once Were Planets

5 GOOD REASONS TO COME TO CINEMA FIASCO
1. The movies shown at Cinema Fiasco are very bad but also very wonderful.

2. Everything you need to know about bad movies is explained by two experts in their field.

3. For once you’ll be glad there are people talking in the cinema.

4. You’ll be part of an occasion once lovingly described as “church for weirdos”.

5. Hosts Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod are well-dressed and strangely attractive.

Bookings to see Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod take the mickey out of some outrageously silly films http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/at-cinema-nova-cinema-fiasco

5 Reasons to see Tegan Higginbotham Touched By Fev

1 After a stellar 2012, Tegan will this year be attempting to end the war between Bogans and Nerds by creating Touched By Fev, a show about Harry Potter and Brendan Fevola. If you come to Touched By Fev, you won’t just be seeing a show…you’ll be witnessing history!

2 If Touched By Fev doesn’t go down well, Tegan will have no choice but to start doing shows about more accessible and mainstream subject mater along the lines of “Tegan Higginbotham in Relationships and Public Transport”. Yuck!

3 Tegan goes to great lengths in order to put together her shows. Last year she took several hits to the head. This year she tracked down one of the AFL’s most notorious players…and had coffee with him. Find out which was more damaging.

4 Tegan doesn’t speak in the third person during her show, unlike when she’s writing “5 reasons to see my show” lists.

5 This show will be as mature & classy as it’s title.

Tigkets to hear Tegan’s childhood love for Fev AND Harry Potter – http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/touched-by-fev-tegan-higginbotham

5 Good Reasons to see Watson – Once Were Planets
1 Once Were Planets is going to be Watson’s biggest, most ambitious show to date. Don’t miss this opportunity to see what happens when Tegan foolishly says to Adam “Sure, we’ll do whatever you want…”

2 This isn’t going to just be a another science-fiction nerd show. Once Were Planets is also a Science-Fiction Drama, Science-Fiction Comedy and Science-Fiction Science-Fiction. There’s something for everyone!

3 Not only will Liam Ryan be gracing the Watson stage again (YAY) but he’ll also be joined by award winning puppet company “The Indirect Object” who will attempt to bring Adam and Tegan’s odd imagination to life.

4 Once Were Planets has it’s very own soundtrack which will be performed live each night by the extraordinarily talented Gillian Lever. So if Adam and Tegan go too far off script and lose the audience, you can always just listen to the pretty music.

5 Aliens, space-ships, explosions and NO BURLESQUE whatsoever.

Another way to see Tegan Higginbotham with Adam McKenzie & friends as Watson having fun in space – http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/once-were-planets-watson

5 Good Reasons to See Poet Laureate Telia Nevile’s Live On Air, Patrick Miller – Chaos and Boss Octopus @ MICF 2013

5 Good Reasons to See Poet Laureate Telia Nevile’s Live On Air
1. If you’re a word nerd, this show will give you so many polysyllabic orgasms your toes will curl

2. If you love the West Wing, Story Corner’s latest instalment of the erotic fan fiction ‘The Best Ring in the West Wing’ will show you a side of Toby and Josh’s relationship you could only dream of (but once you’ve heard it, it’s the only thing you’ll dream of)

3. If the misuse of apostrophes or the use of text-speak in face-to-face conversation makes you want to set people on fire, this show is a good place to meet up with like-minded individuals

4. If you’re an outsider, or know an outsider, or aspire to be an outsider, Poet Laureate Telia Nevile is about to turn the amps up to 11 on behalf of outsiders everywhere – come along and give an almighty rebel yell

5. A beautiful turn of phrase is a joy forever, so a show like this, which is full of beautiful turns of phrase, is a joy forever x 1000 – come and ride the joy train!

Bookings Here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/live-on-air-poet-laureate-telia-nevile

5 Good Reasons to See Patrick Miller – Chaos
1. I do a really sweet entry to the show in a helicopter, smash the roof open with an ice pick, and belay on stage, with no helmet on, which is actually quite dangerous, plus, in the nude, plus, on fire.

2. I eat a lot of fruit, but not during the show. Ok. A little bit during the show.

3. The show is about Chaos Theory, which just happens to be amazing.

4. This is my second solo show. The first one, in the 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Show sold out, and got a four-star review from the Age.

5. The first reason was a lie, and will probably not happen. But is still a good reason.

Bookings Here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/chaos-patrick-miller

5 Good Reasons to See Boss Octopus
1. If you do, we can forget that you were with that slut last week. What’s that? You work with her and it was a staff party? Whatever.

2. Because if you leave us this cute puppy might accidentally get hurt. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

3. You and us have been together since high school. We didn’t even get mad when you told all your friends about the time you fingered us behind the bike rack.

4. Because we’re pregnant. I know this isn’t the best time to tell you, but we were going to tell you before. Honestly.

5. Because we love you. Let’s never fight again. We should have a baby.

Bookings here http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/an-evening-of-sketch-boss-octopus

5 GOOD REASONS TO SEE – SLUTMONSTER AND FRIENDS, THE MOULIN BEIGE AND MAX ATTWOOD’S AM I BETTER THAN GANDHI?

5 Good Reasons to see Slutmonster and Friends.
1. It’s a musical comedy starring a pink polar-fleece monster with furry boobs and a giant fluffy cock.

2. We were awarded ‘Highly Commended in Comedy’ at the 2012 Melbourne Fringe, so it’s a fairly safe bet we’re not shit.

3. We’ve been practicing a cool move and we want you to see it.

4. We can be your secret shame, like an occasional sex partner who won’t stop chuckling during intercourse, and it fully creeps you out in a sort of carnival clown way but it’s actually so gross that you’re also kind of into it, but you’ll never admit it, not even to yourself.

5. All profits raised from the show will be great.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/slutmonster-and-friends

5 Good Reasons to see The Moulin Beige.
1. Because it is a VARIETY show which is WAY more digestible than an hour of the same thing. I simply can’t do a whole block of Bega but give me the cheese platter any day.

2. (still on the cheese platter metaphor) Stand up comedian on a cracker anyone? Mmm… that hoola hoopist goes really well with a dry white. Have you tried the low fat burlesque with bocconcini?

3. Oh yes and The Moulin Beige is in a bar, so you can drink or six while you watch the show- Genius.

4. And we have an interval, so you can catch up with your friends or even go for a pee! Double genius.

5. Because flying to France to see The Moulin Rouge is way over rated… we are in Fitzroy and much, much funnier (especially if you’re drunk).

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/the-moulin-beige

5 Good Reasons to see Max Attwood’s Am I Better Than Gandhi?
1. You have often caught yourself wondering if you’re better than famous and historical figures, and want someone to address this strange quandary in a humorous and ultimately witty manner.

2. Being unemployed, how difficult dating is, Ricky Nixon- these are the jokes that are going to be in every show this year, but not this one! This show has jokes about toddler armies, sexy Mother Teresa and evolutionary hooves.

3. It will be genuinely thought provoking. No, seriously, it will provoke thought in you. You’ll have a thought. Maybe even a think.

4. There’s a slim chance that you think I am your long lost father and you want to meet me in person to confirm your suspicions. However, upon seeing me you realise I’m way too young to be your dad but you stick around because I’m in the middle of an awesome stand-up show.

5. It would be really good for my self-esteem.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/am-i-better-than-gandhi-max-attwood