5 good reasons – Page 92 – Squirrel Comedy

5 Good Reasons to see TOM BALLARD, Tommy Little and Tommy Dassalo

Here is Tom Ballard’s Top 5 Good Reasons to see TOM BALLARD – My Ego Is Better Than Your Ego

1. It’s a profoundly self-indulgent exploration of my ego and self-esteem issues. It’s literally me talking for an hour about me needing you to like me, so it’s got this kind of “charmingly narcissistic” vibe going on.

2. My mum likes to see me being successful.

3. I’m not going to talk to you and humiliate you as an audience member. (Well..except for one person. Just at the start. But it’s not really about them. Or you, if it’s you. Honestly – it’s a good bit.)

4. It’s 100% fair trade and means tested.

5. I am not Ricky Nixon.

Tom Ballard – My Ego Is Better Than Your Ego is on at The Swiss Club throughout the Festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/my-ego-is-better-than-your-ego-tom-ballard

5 Good Reasons to see Tommy Little – Sex, Drugs & Herbal Tea

5. No animals were harmed in the making of it.

4. You’ll learn about new words like foodie, shelving and lolocaust.

3. I’m not Ricky Nixon.

2. You’ll have a much needed laugh with me, at me or a combination of both.

1. It’s better than sitting alone and surfing the web, yes I’m talking to you, it’s time put down the keyboard and come to the party

TOMMY LITTLE – Sex, Drugs & Herbal Tea is on in the Cloak Room, Melbourne Town Hall throughout the Festival
http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/sex-drugs-herbal-tea-tommy-little

Tommy Dassalo’s 5 Good Reasons to see Spread.

1. It’s the true story about how my great-grandpa invented Vegemite.

I can guarantee that mine is the only show in the Festival that can claim that… Unless one of my cousins has decided to do a show… Shit… I really should have asked around at the family Christmas party.

2. My drawings are in the show.

I’ve been up until three in the morning every night finishing off drawings for a segment of the show. If you don’t laugh at the drawings, I would ask that you at least chuckle politely at the effort that’s gone into the drawings.

3. I play characters in the show.

Well, just one of them, but still! I’ve never done characters before! Maybe after this I never will again! Come and see me do some ‘acting’ and then be not at all surprised when I tell you that I never got a good role in any of my high school plays.

4. I will be wearing a very nice suit.

Not to brag, but it’s from Arthur Galan. I bought it for a fancy ball last year. Then I realised how dumb it was to spend so much money on something that I only wore for one night. Then I realised if I wear it onstage I can claim it on tax. So you should see my show if you a) like looking at well dressed men or b) are my accountant.

5. My show is at the beautiful Forum theatre.

Obviously in a small room within the Forum theatre, but my dad thinks that I’m in the MAIN, ACTUAL FORUM THEATRE. Hopefully heaps of people come to my show and I get moved into the main theatre and I won’t have to tell my dad that I’ve been lying to him for the last four months. Everybody wins!

[And I am definitely not Ricky Nixon]

Tommy Dassalo’s Spread is on at The Forum Theatre – Ladies’ Lounge
http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/spread-tommy-dassalo

5 Good Reasons to see Lisa-Skye and two shows by John Robertson

5 Good Reasons to see LISA-SKYE: Songs My Parents Taught Me

1. Her last show, LADYBONER, got 6 reviews and they were all completely effing glowing/4-star. So she is OBJECTIVELY FINE.

2. You’re most likely not out of her league, and that’s nice to know.
2.1 (Nice to know in the loos of Tuxedo Cat post-show).

3. Honestly – she’s just so fucking sparkly and magnetic.

4. She still has the motherflipping metronome, people. And it’s still for motherflipping real.

5. Her YouTube clips are… Ridiculous and very, very funny.

Lisa-Skye Songs My Parents Taught Me is on at The Tuxedo Cat for 11 shows from April 11.
http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/songs-my-parents-taught-me-lisa-skye

5 Good Reasons to see John Robertson in THE DARK ROOM

1. It’s an accessible, interactive adventure brought to life with cash prizes and personal abuse from a disembodied head. Adults find it confusing – teenagers understand it instinctively. You awake to find yourself in a dark room.

2. Because you can’t “see” this show, you’re in a dark room!

3. It’s immersive like a pool and addictive like chocolate. It’s a chocolate pool, is what I’m saying. (BUT THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE, ONLY DARKNESS. DARKNESS. IN THE DARK ROOM.)

4. It’s surprisingly popular in France, Germany and China. Of course, you’re not in any of those places; YOU’RE IN A DARK ROOM!

5. It was originally a YouTube hit – and it’s played as a live show all over the world, get some practice here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvkjP6dqpfY

8.15pm 1st, 8th, 15th April
Melbourne Town Hall – Cloak Room
http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/the-dark-room-john-robertson

5 Good Reasons to see John Robertson’s KINKLING

1. It’s funny and contains no elements of heartbreak.

2. It won’t “make you think”; it’ll assume you already do.

3. I wear a nice jacket and I smile lots.

4. The title’s a made-up word for a made-up person.

5. It’s a late-night party in a hotel. If the show runs over time we’ll go into the foyer. If we get kicked out we’ll go have dinner. If you’re still with me, we’ll to to my apartment on La Trobe St. After awhile you’ll have to leave the apartment, watching me sleep is not part of the show.

28th March – 20th April (Thurs – Sat)
11pm Portland Hotel, Locker Room
http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/kinkling-john-robertson

5 Good Reasons to see Josh Earl three times and the other Lime Champions

Josh Earl vs The Australian Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Book

1. This show is about the greatest book ever published, a book that made birthdays exciting for thousands of children across Australia throughout the 80’s and early 90’s

2. This show actually helped get the original book republished, which then went on to become the highest selling cook book in Australia of 2012, of which I get…none of the profits

3. Every cake in this show will be shown on a cinema sized screen, You’ve never seen dessicated coconut this big!

4. I write a letter to Ita Buttrose on a typewriter cake to the theme music to Murder She Wrote

5. It has sold out shows all over the country and won the Best Comedy show at Fringeworld 2012

Josh Earl vs The Australian Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book is on at The State Library of Victoria at 8pm March 29, 30, April 5, 6

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/the-australian-women-s-weekly-childrens-birthday-cake-book-josh-earl-vs

Josh Earl is a Librarian

1. This is a show about Librarians, in a Library, by a Librarian, it’s like the holy trinity

2. This show goes all through the Dewey Decimal System, the only comedy show to have ever attempted this feat (probably for good reason)

3. This is the best place to see a lot of Librarians lose their mind as they see the Call Number 612.6 on a big screen

4. If you want to see a guy who looks like a hairy skeleton take his shirt off this is the one for you

5. This show is match fit having just sold out my entire season at Fringworld in Perth and Brisbane Comedy Festival

Josh Earl is a Librarian is on at The State Library of Victoria at 8pm April 12, 13, 19, 20

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/a-librarian-josh-earl-is

Lime Champions’ Nightmare Tales

1. After 4 years of performing the only sketch comedy show on Melbourne radio the Lime Champions are bringing their confusing world to the stage

2. There are Dancing men, a secret revealed, an accident in a stairwell, robotic phone sex and strong frequent acting

3. This show is banned in Queensland

4. The acts in this have been described as “SHOCKING!! DISTURBING!!! NUNAWADING!!!”

5. Oliver Clark provides a voiceover, that is worth the ticket price alone

Lime Champions’ Nightmare Tales is on at The Lunch Room at The Melbourne Town Hall at 9:45 April 1, 8, 15

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/nightmare-tales-lime-champions

5 Good Reasons to see Dave Bloustien, Laura Davis and Shane Matheson.

5 reasons to see Dave Bloustien’s Grand Guignol

1. Rip It Up Magazine said “murder will never make you laugh so hard”. And they’re from Adelaide, so they should know.

2. It’s equal parts comedy and horror. So if it’s hilarious, it’s comedy. And if it’s horrible, it’s on purpose.

3. It has creeptastic puppets designed and built by Henson-trained comedian Lana Schwarcz and original music written and performed by FourPlay String Quartet’s Peter Hollo (with Dave) (you can see / hear some of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWBBIjim0NU)

4. It has something for everyone: standup, storytelling, extreme silliness, a castrated pharoah, party political cult conspiracies, fractured fairy tales, barista confessions, beat poetry and a fez.

5. In 10 years of comedy, it’s the best thing Dave Bloustien (Good News Week, Glass house, Randling) has written. And he’s written a LOT.

6. It’s ‘arts’ so you can enjoy it, even if you are innumerate.

Dave Bloustien’s Grand Guignol is on at Trades Hall in the The Evatt Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/grand-guignol-dave-bloustien-s

FIVE REASONS TO SEE Laura Davis Look Out, It’s a Trap!

1: This is the worst joke Laura has ever written. Q: “What’s a ghosts favourite kind of beer? A: Ghosts don’t like beer. They prefer spirits. See? Even that’s pretty good.

2: If you would like to see what it would be like if Lisa Simpson did Stand-Up Comedy.

3: If you’d like to see something that you’ll never have expected unless you’re very good at expecting things.

4: The show is free. As in the adjective, not the adverb. “You walk out feeling warm, contented, practically hugged…Go and see Laura Davis if you like laughing and feeling nice.” –Watchoutfor.com

5:Laura has been compared to Comics Daniel Kitson, Josie Long and David O’Doherty. If you enjoy any of those people, then you’ll probably enjoy “Look Out, It’s a Trap!”

Laura Davis Look Out, It’s a Trap! is on at The Tuxedo Cat from the 11th of April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/look-out-it-s-a-trap-laura-davis

Five good reasons to see Shane Matheson And The Immortal Space Hopper of Doom

1.Last year I won the mysterious “Jhonsy Award” for most innovative local act.

2.The show has a great Broadway number.

3.The audience gets to join in the fun by throwing things at me.

4.It contains a topical joke about 16th Century religious persecution.

5.I literally die on stage (not literally).

Shane Matheson And The Immortal Space Hopper of Doom is on at The Tuxedo Cat from the 11th of April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/and-the-immortal-space-hopper-of-doom-shane-matheson

5 Good Reasons to see Claire Hooper, Asaf Gerchak and KARL CHANDLER

5 GOOD REASONS TO SEE CLAIRE HOOPER – Plums

1. It’s got literal stone fruit, and metaphorical testicles, together in a show at last.

2. There is a story about Don Burke.

3. There is a story about a man whose plums fell out.

4. It’ll make you feel less alone. (Especially if you’ve ever had your plums fall out.)

5. You’ll find out why I would write a whole show about plums and why my husband can go stick that in his plums.

CLAIRE HOOPER – Plums is on at The Cloak Room, Melbourne Town Hall

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/plums-claire-hooper

5 Good Reasons to see Asaf Gerchak is a Terrible Stage Name

1. I’m like what would happen if you combined Batman, George Clooney,
a vicious mountain lion, a friendly bearded guy and a great sense of
humor, then took out Batman, Clooney and the lion.

2. I am not a serial killer, which is sweet for you from a
personal-safety perspective. See that? I’ve got your back.

3. I have been nominated for a number of prestigious comedy awards,
which indicates that I am quite good at comedy. On the other hand, I
have never actually won any of those awards, because… I don’t know,
I think I’m too Rock n’ Roll or something. Probably, I mean. Look,
it’ll be fine.

4. You like the kindly tone in which I address you, Gentle Reader.

5. I can do… THIS! (I know you can’t see what I’m doing right now,
but trust me, it’s pretty wicked.)

Asaf Gerchak is a Terrible Stage Name is on at The Horse Bazaar from 26 Mar – 6 April

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/is-a-terrible-stage-name-asaf-gerchak

5 REASONS TO SEE KARL CHANDLER HAS (LITERALLY) 1.5 MILLION JOKES

1. It’s on at 9.45pm, which is heaps better than it being on at 9.45am. Because then you’d have to get time off from work, and you’ll probably get back to work just before lunch, then you go to lunch, and you’ve lost half the day on some stupid, shitty comedy show. I mean, amazing show. You’ve had a great day. Let’s go again.

2. Which other show’s name tells you how many jokes they have in them? None. They’re running scared. They probably don’t even have ANY jokes in them. They’re probably dumb plays. Who wants to see a dumb play? NOBODY. Who wants to see a show with the number of jokes in the title? EVERYBODY. (Everybody that’s cool, that is.)

3. It’s at the Forum Theatre, in Flinders Street. Which is the home of the ghost of Tony Barber. If you listen closely, you can still hear him inside the theatre at night, wailing, “I’m not dead. I’m actually Tony Barber. The cleaners locked me in here! And the 25 dollars was behind Collette Mann.”

4. Everyone who attends the show gets a prized bull. That’s right, an Angus or a Hereford of your choice, weighing upwards of 900 kilograms. You get it after the show. That’d be pretty stupid, giving you a bull BEFORE the show. There you’d all be, sitting in a tiny theatre, each with a bull! I’m no idiot. You get it after the show.

5. I’m diabetic. But instead of insulin, I need crowds at my show. Or else I go into a fit. Not an epileptic one or anything. More of a hissy one. It’s not great.

Karl Chandler has (Literally) 1.5 million of his finest new jokes is on at Forum Theatre – Pizza Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/has-literally-1-5-million-jokes-karl-chandler

Karl will also be appearing in the Little Dum Dum Club Live Podcasts Mondays at the Town Hall

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/live-podcasts-the-little-dum-dum-club

Five good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty, Saturn Returns and Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988

5 good reasons to see Cal Wilson Is Guilty

1. I have it on good authority Bradley Cooper/Scarlett Johannson/Justin Bieber/Chewbacca are coming to the show. I don’t know which night. You’ll have to come lots.

2. I know where you live. If you don’t come, I’ll hang around your house doing impressions of Chewbacca singing Justin Bieber songs.

3. I reveal lots of true stories, stripping away secrets, peeling off guilts. It’s like burlesque of the mouth.

4. There could a be surprise guest on stage with me. When I say “guest,” I mean “moth.”

5. I admit to the worst things I’ve ever done. Apart from stealing that roman artefact. No one knows about that. Oh.

Cal Wilson Is Guilty at the Melb Town Hall – Powder Room

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/guilty-cal-wilson-is

5 Good Reasons to See Lachlan MacLeod and Simon Abrahams in Saturn Returns

One. It’s funny. Which is a good start for the comedy festival. It’s fun for you because we laugh at at our real life traumas. Which is not that much fun for us. For us, every night brings another therapy bill. We’re laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. But for you, it’s funny. No therapy bills. Perhaps a dry cleaning bill.

Two. It’s got music. 12 original songs that poke fun at everything from Uranus to grey pubic hair, Matt Preston to golden Gaytimes. There’s electro synth, piano ballads, ukelele ditties and rollicking dance numbers. There’s even a CD you can buy at the end. And if that’s not enough for you, we wear fancy silver suits. FANCY SILVER SUITS, I SAY.

Three. It’s good. And not just cos we say so. There’s this fancy four star review (http://au.artshub.com/au/news-article/reviews/performing-arts/saturn-returns-190291?sc=1), plus a whole lot of people who saw our sold out 2012 season who will say so. And Tripod – who we recently toured with – they’ll say so too. Won’t you guys? Eh, Tripod? Gatesy? Yon? The other one? Remember us… from the tour, you know… Ummm *sigh*. Plus TheatrePress.com.au said Lachlan was “everyday funny like Hamish and Andy, writes clever and witty lyrics like Tim Minchin, and delivers them with the pathos of Tripod.”. So at least one of us is funny. And the other is a bit funny looking…

Four. It’s deep. Like… yeah. It’s a show with heart. You’ll come out laughing and humming catchy tunes but maybe – just maybe – you’ll even come out having been moved a teensy tiny bit. Unless you’re a heartless bastard, in which case, I totally empathise.

Five. This show is about crisis. It’s poking fun at the traumas of turning 30. We’re really pretty stressed as it is. Have some heart. Even the aforementioned heartless bastards. See our show. We’re already getting old, going grey, going bald and getting fat. Don’t send us broke too.

Saturn Returns is on from 27 March to 6 April at The Butterfly Club.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/saturn-returns-simon-abrahams-lachlan-macleod-in

5 Good Reasons to see Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988
1. The show features a ceramic owl.

2. Daniel won a Mr Personality contest aged 5, he has a sash to prove it. Last year he asked questions about what happened on that day in 1988, he regretted this.

3. Martin Riggs is an L.A. cop with suicidal tendencies and Roger Murtaugh is the unlucky police officer with whom Riggs is assigned. Together they uncover a huge drug-smuggling operation, and as their success rate grows so does their friendship. (This will make sense if you see this show)

4. It’s at 8:30 every night (except Sunday 7:30pm), I know that’s the time most good TV shows or movies start but you can record those and watch them later. Come and see this live (please don’t record it). (unless you have a sweet camera and good sound and can give me a copy).

5. There might be some singing and dancing in this show, there might not be……

Daniel Connell – Mr Personality 1988 is on at the Forum Theatre in the Carpet Room throughout the Festival

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/mr-personality-1988-daniel-connell