Five Good Reasons to see Capital Punishment 2012 and Constantinople

5 good Reasons to see the Capital Punishment 2012 show:
1. Features a new line up this year even your mum will want to get to.

2. Has Five comedians in one show so in the unlikely case you don’t like
one, you don’t have to wait long for another

3. All the comics are all very different in style and delivery to
tickle your variety fancy

4. There are not only jokes, but songs and dance in the show

5. Five comics one show for $20 screams “bargain”!!!

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/capital-punishment-2012/

5 Good Reasons to see Constantinople
1. You get a free grape

2. Two men in togas. With special toga underpants on underneath…. mmmm

3. There is an 8 minute homage to early 90’s House Music.

4. I snort pepper.

5. There is an amazing joke with a mushroom.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/constantinople/

5 Good Reasons to see Shane Matheson, Jenny Wynter & Elegant Heroin

5 Reasons to See “Shane Matheson and his Fabulous Singing Bucket of Gravel”

1.It’s AT LEAST the second funniest show with a singing bucket of gravel in the festival.

2.You’ll be pleasantly surprised how quickly you can get to the venue. I visited it carrying a bucket of gravel and it not only took ten minutes from the city, but a pregnant lady stood up for the bucket of gravel because it looked tired.

3.I’m giving away a free car* with every ticket

4.My tickets will be much more expensive next year because St Ali hasa knack for discovering great things, like that time they discovered Australia! (Sure, there were already people living here but that’s never counted before).

5.I’m a lovable kook.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/and-his-fabulous-singing-bucket-of-gravel-shane-matheson/

 

5 Reasons to See “An Unexpected Variety Show”.

1. Because the 7 people who saw it last time it was in Melbourne (for the Fringe, where it ended up winning the Award for Excellence in Cabaret), cannot be wrong.

2. Because you simply cannot pass up an opportunity to bathe in cheesy 80’s dance references.

3. Because after sampling the incredible array of comedic talent on offer this Comedy Fest, you feel like trying something a little different on your palate in the form of an emotional roller coaster. Wheeee!

4. Because you relate to your life not having turned out the way you wanted (this show is all about the unexpected twists in life, from unplanned pregnancy to having your wedding interrupted by an elderly man wearing Speedoes.)

5. Because you get to come to the fabooshy Butterfly Club, which is an evening well spent even if the show sucks buttocks.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/an-unexpected-variety-show-jenny-wynter/

 

5 Reasons to See “Bosco & Jekyll – Elegant Heroin”

1. It contains a safe alternative to Auto-erotic asphyxiation .

2. A guy eats a lightbulb with his mouth hole.

3. Instruments featured include: Kazoo, Spoons & beatbox loopedaling.

4. 2 Sydney-based stand-ups who spent over $150 on petrol to get to Vic.

5. There are no references to social networking – that’s a HUGE plus!

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/elegant-heroin-bosco-jekyll/

5 Good Reasons to see Mick Neven, Jennifer Wong & Ben McKenzie

5 Reasons to See #ShitMickNevenSays

1. Because you’re not just allowed to tweet from the audience, you’re expected to tweet from the audience. With a projector screen displaying the latest tweets with the #ShitMickNevenSays hashtag, it’s the future of audience participation.

2. Because there’s a Pre-Show Guided Tour podcast. Once you’ve got your ticket you can download the podcast from www.mickneven.com.au and it guides you from Melbourne Town Hall to the venue. It features commentary from guest comedians and instructions on how to get a free James Squire Golden Ale.

3. Because you get a free James Squire Golden Ale. Seriously! Get a ticket, get the podcast and get a free beer on the way to the show.

4. Because it’s a funny show featuring incisive social commentary and topical doodle jokes.

5. Because my kid wants a bike and if you don’t buy a ticket you’ll be breaking a little girl’s heart.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/shitmicknevensays/

 

5 Reasons to See Jennifer Wong – Ouch & Other Words

1. Time: Ouch & Other Words is on at 7:15pm. There is a good chance it doesn’t clash with any of the shows you want to see.

2. Location: Ouch & Other Words is on at the Forum Theatre. If you’re already nearby, this location will be very convenient for you. If not, sadly it will not be.

3. Language: Ouch & Other Words is performed entirely in English. It is much better than the solo show I once performed entirely in Finnish. I only know one word in Finnish. (Lahja. It means gift, or present, and is the name of my favourite dog on Instagram.)

4. Content: Ouch & Other Words is stand-up comedy about First Aid and some other things, such as being bookish and observational and anxiously optimistic. This may be of interest to you.

5. Guarantee: If you hate my show, I will sit in the dark and watch you talk for an hour.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/ouch-other-words-jennifer-wong/

 

5 reasons to see any one or all of Ben McKenzie’s shows

1. I have super powers: due to a mutation on my sixteenth chromosome I have slightly increased pain tolerance, a resistance to anaesthetics and extraordinary ginger mutton chops.

2. You can get your nerd on: who else will be making jokes about science (The Peer Revue), games (Pop Up Playground and Late Night Dungeon Crawl) museums (the Melbourne Museum Comedy Tour) and puzzles (Late Night Letters and Numbers)?

3. We will rock you: whether you want to be rocked by the music of Queen (Somebody To Love) or learn how to properly rock out yourself at karaoke (Karenoke), we’ve got you covered. (Fame and fortune not guaranteed.)

4. You can get involved: why annoy your fellow patrons and comedians by heckling in other shows, when you can come to Dungeon Crawl or Pop Up Playground and be invited to participate in the fun? And all from the safety of the audience!

5. I’m a terribly nice man: I was described as the anti-Hitler, don’t you know?

Here are the links to book for Ben’s shows:
Pop Up Playground
The Peer Review
Late Night Letters and Numbers
Melbourne Museum Comedy Tour
Late Night Dungeon Crawl
Political Asylum’s Late Night Riot!
Somebody To Love: A Tribute to the Songs of Queen
Karenoke

5 Good Reasons to see Late Night Impro, Christophe Davidson, Meg Pee & Seamus McAlary

Five Good Reasons to see Late Night Impro

1. No animals were harmed in the making of this show.

2. The show has a great line-up of Comedy Festival guests.

3. No guests were harmed in the making of this show.

4. It’s the perfect antidote for that date that’s gone horribly wrong.

5. See #2.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/late-night-impro/

 

Five Good Reasons to see Christophe Davidson – The Time Of Your Life

1. I’m Canadian, so you won’t be able to see me any other time of the year.

2. I dance!

3. I have little known facts about pigeons that will change the way you look at them…forever!

4. I underwent body modification for the finale of my show (Don’t worry, it’s not gross, very heartwarming actually).

5. There are things in my show never before attempted that you will laugh at for the first time in your life, and some things you will laugh at for the second time in your life… only harder this time.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/the-time-of-your-life-christophe-davidson/

 

Five Good Reasons to see Meg Pee – Close To You

1. If you don’t see it you’ll never know what it means be “Poofter Clapped”.

2. It will diminish your feelings of isolation if you’ve ever had a Carpenters song stuck in your head.

3. It will diminish your feelings of isolation if you had a regular childhood ritual of sitting in Hungry Jacks; opposite a woman crying at you with lettuce stuck on her eyebrow.

4. My parents have no idea I have written a show about their dysfunction.

5. My Nanna ate enough chops in her week to clothe a small village and Lady Ga Ga.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/close-to-you-meg-pee/

 

Five Good Reasons to see Seamus McAlary – Eponymous

1. You’ve not seen me before. Almost no one has.

2. I refrain from using the word ‘totes’.

3. It is the best show I’ve ever written and you’ll be seeing me in top form.

4. It’s relatively cheap (compared to a four bedroom home in South Yarra).

5. If you don’t your family may be in grave danger.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/eponymous-seamus-mcalary/

5 Good Reasons to see Celia Pacquola, Dave O’Neil, Felicity Ward, Lisa-Skye and Dave Callan

5 Good Reasons to see CELIA PACQUOLA DELAYED:

1. I won’t make you feel bad about what you’re wearing. (Sometimes I go out and I feel like people are trying to make me feel bad about what I’m wearing… probably because I’m a grown woman who dresses like a 15 year old boy, anyway.

2. It’s better than a kick in the teeth.

3. My last 2 shows sold out, I know I sound like a wanker saying that, but they did, so, um…I’m a wanker aren’t I?

4. It’s a secret, but I am in charge of karma and if you come I’ll give you some. The good stuff.

5. You know you want to.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/delayed-celia-pacquola/

 

5 Good Reasons to see DAVE O’NEIL – YOU DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB DO YOU DAD 

1. It’s a brand new show full of laughs, tears, vomiting.. however you react will be fine.

2. There is no audience participation. Oh except I do get one audience member up and shave their eyebrows, but apart from that..

3. You will get an insight into what it’s like to be a working comedian, from Hollywood to Hollywood-on-the-Gold Coast.

4. I have three children, I need to feed them. So if you can’t afford the ticket price, bring a loaf of bread.

5. It’s on at the Hairy Little Sista, right around the corner from the town hall in Little Collins st- it’s got a great bar, restaurant, you can meet me, I clean the toilets as well as performing.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/you-don-t-really-have-a-job-do-you-dad-dave-o-neil/

Dave O’Neil’s other show is a panel show at the Wheeler Centre called Get Fact on the 13th & 20th of April at 7pm

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/get-fact-dave-o-neil/

 

5 Good Reasons to see FELICITY WARD – THE HEDGEHOG DILEMMA

1. It’s the funniest show I’ve ever written.

2. I will tell you how hedgehogs anatomically “do the sex”.

3. This show was just nominated for BEST COMEDY at Adelaide Fringe 2012.

4. People point out that I’m very skinny. The only way I can change that is if I buy more food. The only way I can do that is if you buy more tickets.

5. How do you get to five without sounding like a dick? Just come. It’s heaps good. You’ll laugh’n’shit. Promise.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/the-hedgehog-dilemma-felicity-ward-in/

 

5 Good Reasons to see LISA-SKYE – LADYBONER

1. Throughout the show, you will laugh, get terrified and get hard. But at which points will you do each? The answer says more about you then it does about me.

2. There’s a 1-minute video that EVERYONE will be talking about. (It made someone faint during my sold-out Melbourne Fringe Season). Get in on it.

3. I’m very sparkly.

4. I have a motherfucking metronome. This is not a drill, people.

5. The show is called LADYBONER, for Christ’s sake. LADYBONER.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/ladyboner-lisa-skye/

 

5 Good Reasons to see DAVE CALLAN: THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT

1. Because it defies the space time continuum by having ‘me present’ introduce ‘me past’ talking live.

2. It features many people on drugs, drunk or of questionable mental health unchained and on air.

3. All the cool people are going who are also good looking.

4. My Mum said it was heaps good.

5. Its actually hard to breathe at parts its so funny (not me, the callers) obviously this is not a selling point if you have breath problems.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/the-graveyard-shift-dave-callan/

5 Good Reasons to go to St Ali to see Jack Druce, Ross Daniels, Brad Hearne, The Classic Tale of Faust and Rob Lloyd.

This is St Ali’s first year as a Comedy Festival venue and they are jumping in with gusto. St Ali is the venue for ten official MICF shows  and seven of them will include at least one night with an Auslan interpreter. Their late night shows under the umbrella of ‘The Late Night Percolator, have a sophisticated Melbourne comedy in a cafe kind of vibe, but also sound like a hoot! They include The Comedy Manifesto Reunion night, musical comedy, kareoke with comedians, trivia, burlesque and a puppet night. It’s a venue run by performers and I urge comedy fans to support them in their venture away (but not too far away) from the CBD.

5 Good Reasons to go to the venue St Ali

1. We feature internationally renowned 5 star and green room award nominated artists

2. We have parties every night from Tues – Sat where our cafe doors open to the public with free shows and awesome DJs

3. It’s an Artist Run Initiative, so we do our best to support our artists in as many ways as we possibly can

4. You can drive there easily and PARK around the corner for free after 6pm!! A novel concept. Alternatively, we’re an easy tram ride.

5. We’re actually funny, we like to dance, our heart is in exactly the right place, and we’re inviting you into our little nook to play with us.

Learn about all that is happening at St Ali at The St Ali Comedy website.

If you need any more convincing, consider the following:

5 Good Reasons to see JACK DRUCE – INTROVERT DEF JAM 
Jack Druce

1.  If you see a show out side of the Town Hall area you don’t have to be hounded by people flyering you, this means you have a pleasant walk out, and comedians have their self esteem crushed.

2.  My show is called ‘Introvert Def Jam’ and Involves a lot of ranting about StarWars and also at St Ali is Rob Lloyd doing a show about Dr. Who, So you could line up a perfect nerdy Comedy Double bill.

3. This is the first time this has happened, if this grows to be the biggest, coolest, comedy place in town, then you get to be the hip and trendy person who say’s “ohh, yea… St. Ali comedy I went there back in 2012… no big deal.’

4. Go there before the show to enjoy world class food and coffee

5. It always bothers me when a comedy night advertises its self with things external to the performance its self, like bar deals and venue stuff. The only real reason you should come and see a show at St Ali is that they have a picked spectacular line up of unique and talented comedians and you will have a really fun time.

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/introvert-def-jam-jack-druce/

5 Good Reasons to see ROSS DANIELS – PUNKED
Punked
1. If you missed it last time, or even if you didn’t, here’s your last chance to see my acclaimed one person show in a special encore season.

2. It’s made up of not only stand up, but story telling, characters, improvisation and real drama.

3. You’ll witness the birth of punk rock in a very cool [as in hip not uninsulated] venue.

4. I zip around the stage transforming into punks, evil cops, Molly Meldrum, my grandparents, former Queensland premier/dictator Joh Bjelke-Petersen, myself at age 15 and more.

5. You don’t have to be into punk, history, Brisbane or police to enjoy it. Audiences of all ages and locations [as well as the critics] have embraced ‘Punked’!

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/punked-ross-daniels/
5 Good Reasons to see BRAD HEARNE – DEAF DEFYING
Brad Hearne

1. Given that there will be an AUSLAN interpreter for two of the shows you can come and see what rude words look like in sign language and then insult your co workers the following day without their knowledge.

2.Two words – Pity Vote, Australia has a proud tradition of championing people like me in the arts. Just look at every season of Australian Idol.

3.People are going to get a unique insight into what it’s like to be a partially deaf person in a hearing world. But it’s not just wall to wall deafness, because that would be weird…and really quiet. I also tell a funny story about getting a haircut.

4.If you come to my show it will validate my sense of self worth. Okay, so that one doesn’t do much for you,…but hey there’s always that karma thing.

5.MICF at St Ali – what could be better. There’s comedy, there’s caffiene, there’s late night shenanigans. It’s like spending an evening inside a really funny can of Red Bull!

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/deaf-defying-brad-hearne/
5 Good Reasons to see RAG THEATRE’S – THE CLASSIC TALE OF FAUST
Faust

1. possibility of free vodka

2. possibility of free easter eggs

3. Debi Rice’s new poem

4. Scott Gooding in a Tux

5. support art made in collaboration with communities

http://www.thatgirlentertainment.com/stalicomedy/portfolio/rags-theatre-faust/

5 Good Reasons to see ROB LLOYD – WHO, ME???
Who Me?

Five!?! Ha…I can give you ELEVEN good reasons to see ‘WHO, ME’ at St Ali during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

1- Like the First Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ can be a little cranky but it does have a heart of gold.

2- Like the Second Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ is slapstick joy to watch but has a deeper side.

3- ‘WHO, ME’ is as stylish and classy as the Third Doctors frilly shirts and velvet jackets.

4- Like the Fourth Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ isn’t as stupid as it seems.

5- ‘WHO, ME’ thinks a vegetable is an appropriate fashion accessory, like the Fifth Doctor.

6- Like the Sixth Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ can be pompous and self important but only for a very brief time.

7- Like the Seventh Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ is enigmatic and controlling.

8- Like the Eighth Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ has an exciting motorbike/ambulance chase (chase not guaranteed).

9- ‘WHO, ME’ loves to be dark and broody, like the Ninth Doctor.

10- Like the Tenth Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ appeals to ‘the ladies’.

11- Like the Eleventh Doctor, ‘WHO, ME’ thinks Fish Fingers and Custard is delicious.

And that would be one of the nerdiest promos for a show you will every read my friends!

http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/shows/who-me-rob-lloyd/